Suffering

Readings for today: Job 32-34, Psalms 143

The introduction of Elihu to the narrative represents a turning point in Job. At first glance, Elihu just seems to be piling on. Repeating the same old tired arguments of Job’s friends. But a careful reading of the text reveals a significant shift. Elihu bursts onto the scene declaring his anger at both Job and his three friends. He believes he has something new to offer that has not yet been said. So what is it that Elihu brings to the table? It’s the idea that God allows the righteous to suffer in order to purify and to save. Perhaps the key passage is Job 33:12-30...

“Behold, in this you are not right. I will answer you, for God is greater than man. Why do you contend against him, saying, 'He will answer none of man's words'? For God speaks in one way, and in two, though man does not perceive it. In a dream, in a vision of the night, when deep sleep falls on men, while they slumber on their beds, then he opens the ears of men and terrifies them with warnings...” Remember, they had no Bible. No written records. So the Word of God would come to them in visions and dreams. Why? To punish? To judge? To wound? To destroy? No...”So that God may turn man aside from his deed and conceal pride from a man; he keeps back his soul from the pit, his life from perishing by the sword.” This is deeply significant as it adds a new layer of meaning to the story. God does allow suffering but it’s for our good. He uses suffering to purge the pride from us. The pride Job himself suffers from. Yes, Job is a righteous man. Yes, Job is a blameless man. But Job is also a sinful man. Though he has a heart after God, he is not perfect and God will use his suffering (as we will see at the end of the book) to cleanse the depths of Job’s soul. 

God not only warns us in dreams and visions and through His Word, he also uses our physical pain for our good and for His glory. "Man is also rebuked with pain on his bed and with continual strife in his bones, so that his life loathes bread, and his appetite the choicest food. His flesh is so wasted away that it cannot be seen, and his bones that were not seen stick out. His soul draws near the pit, and his life to those who bring death.” If we follow the logic of Job’s friends - whom Elihu rebukes strongly - we would conclude that those who suffer deserve it. They should go down to death. But that’s not where Elihu lands. His God is not a harsh judge but a faithful, loving Father who delivers His children ultimately from their pain and suffering. “If there be for him an angel, a mediator, one of the thousand, to declare to man what is right for him, and he is merciful to him, and says, 'Deliver him from going down into the pit; I have found a ransom; let his flesh become fresh with youth; let him return to the days of his youthful vigor'; then man prays to God, and he accepts him; he sees his face with a shout of joy, and he restores to man his righteousness. He sings before men and says: 'I sinned and perverted what was right, and it was not repaid to me. He has redeemed my soul from going down into the pit, and my life shall look upon the light.' "Behold, God does all these things, twice, three times, with a man, to bring back his soul from the pit, that he may be lighted with the light of life.” The key phrase being that last sentence. It is God who does all these things for man in order to bring his soul back from the pit, lighted with the light of life. 

This understanding squares with what Christians have said throughout the centuries. Martyrs facing their death without fear. Those who suffer enduring for the sake of something greater.  They understand God is at work even in the middle of their pain. They understand suffering to be part of this broken, ruined, created order. Ultimately, they embrace suffering as part of following Christ who Himself suffered on behalf of all humanity. Viewed from this angle, suffering is hard but good. God using it to bring about His will and His glory while also continuing to sanctify and purify own hearts in the midst of it all. The reality is Job needs to be humbled and indeed will be humbled before the Lord of Hosts. We need to be humbled as well. This is one of the most important lessons from the Book of Job for all of us.

Readings for tomorrow: Job 35-37, Psalms 144

Unimaginable Suffering

Readings for today: Matthew 27:32-66, Mark 15:21-47, Luke 23:26-56, John 19:17-42, Psalm 22

There is nothing beautiful about the Cross. It stands unparalleled in human history as a horror. A terror. An act of unspeakable evil. The Cross is where we hung God. The Cross is where we murdered God. The Cross is where we executed God. Creation despising and rejecting her Creator. Humanity lynching her Savior. Sin having it’s way. Satan rejoicing. His victory seemingly complete. 

Jesus’ suffering was unimaginable. After having been flogged and beaten. His flesh in tatters. His blood loss immense. Jesus is forced to shoulder a 300 lbs. Roman cross. (If He just carried the crossbeam - far more likely - it was still 100 lbs.) He carries it some two thousand feet up Golgotha where nails are driven into his hands and feet. They offer Him wine mixed with gall to numb the pain. He refuses. They strip Him naked so His humiliation and shame will be complete. Crowds gather to make a public spectacle of Him. Even the criminals being executed alongside Him take pleasure in His pain. Finally, He cries out, “My God, my God! Why have you forsaken Me?” Darkness falls. The ground shakes. The Temple curtain protecting the Holy of Holies is torn in two. Tombs are thrown open. The dead are raised. The natural order of things is thrown into chaos as the Author of Life dies.

Jesus didn’t just suffer physically. It was existential. Ontological. Impacting his heart, mind, and soul as well. His cry of God-forsakenness reveals the depths of His pain. His body torn. His mind shattered. His heart utterly broken. His soul rent asunder. There is nothing that can compare to the agony He endured as He bore the sin of the world on His shoulders. He hung there alone. Forsaken by all who knew Him. All who loved Him. Even His Heavenly Father. Jesus hung between heaven and earth, making atonement for humanity in the ugliness of all her sin and satisfying the holy justice of God in all it’s beautiful glory. A price had to be paid. God’s righteous wrath had to be turned away. And Jesus - fully God and fully Man - was the only one who could do it. 

What Jesus suffered on the Cross is a foretaste of hell. For those who wonder what hell is like, they need look no further than Jesus’ crucifixion. It is truly terrifying. There is no escape. There is no hope. There is nothing redemptive or beautiful or pleasurable about it. It is awful. It is brutal. It is horrible. And it is just. It is what we deserve. Human beings are born sinners. Born rebellious. Born treasonous and seditious. Our hearts naturally oriented away from God. Our desires naturally opposed to God. Our loves naturally self-centered. There is nothing beautiful about sin. Nothing beautiful about evil. We are foolish to think otherwise. 

God forbid we ever get comfortable with the Cross. God forbid we ever take for granted what Jesus had to endure. God forbid we despise His sacrifice on our behalf. Jesus suffered and died for my crimes. My wickedness. My sin. What He endured, I rightfully deserve. And it is good for my soul to sit and ponder the depth of my Savior’s pain. It is good for my soul to sit and reflect on the unfathomable cost of my salvation. It is good for my soul to sit and contemplate how truly fierce and loyal and steadfast and unshakable is the love of God for me. 

Readings for tomorrow: Matthew 28, Mark 16, Luke 24, John 20-21

The Grief of God

Readings for today: Jeremiah 1-4

Jeremiah is a hard book to read. Especially if one gets in touch with the pain present throughout. Not only Jeremiah’s pain as he watches his people and his nation struggle and suffer and eventually be destroyed, but God’s pain as well as His people betray Him by chasing after other gods. So intertwined is the pain of God with His prophet that it is often hard to know who’s speaking. For example, Jeremiah  4:19 says, “I’m doubled up with cramps in my belly— a poker burns in my gut. My insides are tearing me up, never a moment’s peace. The ram’s horn trumpet blast rings in my ears, the signal for all-out war.” (Jeremiah‬ ‭4‬:‭19‬ ‭MSG‬‬) Traditionally, these words have been ascribed to Jeremiah himself because we simply cannot fathom God saying such things. However, when one looks closely at the text, it is just as possible that God is speaking. I know this is probably a challenging thought but could it possible that we are so uncomfortable with the idea that God might feel pain that we automatically bracket this reading out of the text? 

We’re going to see this dynamic pop up over and over again throughout this book and it forces us to come to grips with how we see and understand God. Classically, the question goes to the “impassibility” of God. The idea that God doesn’t have “passions” or “pathos” which has to do with suffering. Some have interpreted this to mean God doesn’t have emotions but that’s clearly not true. God expresses a whole range of emotions all throughout the Scriptures. More specifically this idea has to do with the suffering of God. Can God suffer? Does such suffering suggest a change in God? Does it threaten the immutability of His nature and character? Historically, the answer has been “yes” which then forces us to find other explanations for what we read in texts like the one before us today. But what if God suffers? What if God chooses - in His freedom - to be the kind of God who moves towards suffering? Who embraces suffering? Who welcomes suffering without it changing who He is? Is this not the heart of the gospel? Is this not part of the mystery of the Incarnation? Eternal God choosing to take on human flesh? With all its weaknesses and struggles and hardships? Is this not the heart of the passion of our Christ? God suffering with us and for us even to the point of death?  

It seems to me that we lose nothing by embracing the pathos of God if we understand God has embraced such pathos according to His own will and good pleasure. Certainly, such suffering is not forced on God. It doesn’t take God by surprise. It doesn’t enact a change on God’s experience. God is beyond all these things. He truly is immutable or unchanging. He is the same yesterday, today and forever. There is no shadow or turning in Him. But at the same time, God has revealed Himself in a particular, one might even argue, peculiar kind of way. He is a God who embraces a broken creation. A God who covenants with a broken people. A God who is steadfast and faithful and loyal and true even in the face of evil. He is a God who likens His relationship with His people to a marriage and the faithlessness of His people to adultery. He frequently uses the language of betrayal and heartache and pain to express His dismay over the sinful choices His people make. No one forces God to remain faithful. No one makes God forgive. No outside force can drive God to do anything He Himself has not already chosen to do in complete freedom. Which makes passages like the one we read today and others like it throughout the book of Jeremiah so intriguing. 

What if God is in anguish over us? What if being in relationship with us breaks God’s heart? What if God’s choice to love us from before the foundations of the earth involved Him choosing unimaginable suffering? Would this change how you relate to Him? Change how you see Him? Change how you experience Him? Change how you love Him?  

Readings for tomorrow: Jeremiah 5-8

Breakthrough

Readings for today: Job 18-21

There’s a scene in the movie, The Perfect Storm, where the crew of the Andrea Gail catches a glimpse of a potential way to salvation. Their commercial fishing vessel is being battered by one of the fiercest storms ever to hit the North Atlantic. Waves measuring over sixty feet in height were tossing their little boat all over the place and the crew was rapidly losing all hope. In the midst of the darkness, a brief pinprick of light appeared. The sun broke through the clouds and illuminated a potential path out of the storm. The captain set his course but simply didn’t have the power to escape. The storm closed back in and all hands were lost as the Andrea Gail sank to the bottom of the ocean.

Job finds himself in the midst of one of life’s fiercest storms. His condition is grave. His future is bleak. His suffering is great. The darkness of despair has closed in all around him to the point where he believes God has become his enemy. “God threw a barricade across my path—I’m stymied; he turned out all the lights—I’m stuck in the dark. He destroyed my reputation, robbed me of all self-respect. He tore me apart piece by piece—I’m ruined! Then he yanked out hope by the roots. He’s angry with me—oh, how he’s angry! He treats me like his worst enemy. He has launched a major campaign against me, using every weapon he can think of, coming at me from all sides at once.” (Job‬ ‭19‬:‭8‬-‭12 MSG‬) I can think of nothing more terrifying than believing God has set Himself against you. You want to talk about hopelessness! If the Lord is against you, who can be for you? If the Lord has determined to destroy you, who can save you? If the Lord is coming for you, who can deliver you? Certainly no one on earth. Certainly no weapon that’s formed by human hands can fend Him off. Certainly no army no matter how large and mighty can overcome the Lord.

Thankfully, in the midst of this passage, a pinprick of light appears. A break in the storm. The Son appears on the horizon, His light piercing the darkness. “Still I know that God lives - the One who gives me back my life - and eventually He will take His stand on earth. And I’ll see Him - even though I get skinned alive - I will see God myself, with my very own eyes. Oh, how I long for that day!” (Job 19:24-27 MSG) Against all hope and human experience, Job trusts God. Though God seems to be his enemy, Job refuses to lose faith in Him. Though God seemingly has taken everything from him, Job continues to seek Him. It’s a powerful Word in the midst of a challenging book that forces us to come face to face with the overwhelming nature of suffering.

Most of us can identify with Job on some level. If you live life for very long, chances are good that you will experience suffering. It might be a terminal disease. It might be mental illness. It might be a financial loss. It might be the implosion of a career. It might be a divorce or estrangement with someone you love. It might be a struggle with an addiction. Whatever it may be, know that God is with you in the storm. He is at work even now creating a breakthrough that will bring deliverance and salvation in this life or the next. He is faithful! He will never leave you or abandon you. He is able! There is nothing beyond the reach of His amazing and all-powerful grace. He is good! You can trust Him because He loves you as a Father and He delights in giving good gifts to His children.

Readings for tomorrow: Job 22-24

Empty Platitudes

Readings for today: Job 6-9

I’m reading the Message version of the Bible this year and love how author, Eugene Peterson, translates the ancient meaning of the text into 21st century American vernacular. Take the gut-wrenching questions of Job as an example. “Why didn’t I die at birth, my first breath out of the womb my last?” (Job 5:11) “Why does God bother giving light to the miserable, why bother keeping bitter people alive, those who want in the worst way to die, and can’t, who can’t imagine anything better than death, who count the day of their death and burial the happiest day of their life? What’s the point of life when it doesn’t make sense, when God blocks all the roads to meaning?” (Job 5:20-23) “Human life is a struggle, isn’t it? It’s a life sentence to hard labor.” (Job 7:1) After experiencing so much misery and tragedy and pain, Job finally reaches the point of utter despair. His friends are at a loss. They don’t know how to help. They are afraid for their friend. As they sit with their friend in the ashes of his life, an anxiousness begins to grow within them. Every word Job speaks only increases their anxiety and fear. Their feelings of helplessness. Their feelings of hopelessness. Finally, they can’t take it anymore and they begin to respond. 

How do I know this is what Job’s friends are experiencing? Because it’s what I experience every time I walk into a similar situation with people I love who have experienced suffering. I have been in the emergency rooms with parents as they said goodbye to their children. I have been in the neonatal units watching infants struggle for every breath. I have sat at the bedside of those dying from cancer and tried to bring comfort to their loved ones. I have been in the developing world and seen life-threatening poverty. I have prayed over men and women whose condition is utterly hopeless because they simply do not have access to the resources they need to survive. In EVERY single case, I feel helpless, inadequate, afraid, frustrated, and I despair. These feelings threaten to overwhelm me and, if I am not careful, can cause me to say things more for my own benefit than for the good of others. This is what we see play out in Job’s conversations with his friends. They are experiencing all kinds of emotions as well as they sit with Job and eventually reach a breaking point where they feel they have to respond. Not for Job’s sake but for their own. 

Eliphaz is the first to speak. “You’ve been hit hard and you’re reeling from the blow. But shouldn’t your devout life give you confidence now? Shouldn’t your exemplary life give you hope? Think! Has a truly innocent person ever ended up on the scrap heap? Do genuinely upright people ever lose out in the end?” (4:6-7) Now this is a theologically true statement. The fear of God is our confidence.  Walking in integrity with God is our hope. God promises to protect the innocent and the upright. These things are all true. At the same time, speaking these words to a man who has lost all he holds dear and who, even now, suffers from sores and wounds that are infected with worms is insensitive and superficial at best. What Job needs is not an answer to why he is suffering but friends who will simply sit and listen and let him process his pain for however long it takes. Yes, it is true that “mortals are born and bred for trouble, as certainly as sparks fly upward.” (5:7) But for Eliphaz to suggest to Job that if he were in Job’s shoes, he’d “go straight to God, I’d throw myself on the mercy of God. After all, he’s famous for great and unexpected acts; there’s no end to his surprises….” (5:8-9) is patently absurd. Eliphaz simply has no idea how he would respond were he in Job’s situation and that’s why his words fall on deaf ears. 

Job responds with a stinging rebuke. “When desperate people give up on God Almighty, their friends, at least, should stick with them. But my brothers are fickle…They arrive so confident - but what a disappointment! They get there, and their faces fall! And you, my so-called friends, are no better - there’s nothing to you!” (6:14-15, 20-21) He clearly sees their fear. He clearly sees their discomfort. He clearly sees their anxiety as they sit helpless before him. He knows they are struggling with how to respond. But he also knows Eliphaz’s answer is far too simplistic. Suffering and sin do not exist in a one to one relationship. This situation has nothing to do with cause and effect. Eliphaz’s theology is far too superficial to explain why some people suffer in extraordinary ways when they have not extraordinarily sinned. Nor is it adequate to explain why some people prosper in extraordinary ways when they clearly are extraordinary sinners! So Job rejects what Eliphaz has to say. 

Once again, Job cries out to God. “What are mortals anyway, that you bother with them, that you even give them the time of day? That you check up on them every morning, looking in on them to see how they’re doing? Let up on me, will you? Can’t you even let me spit in peace? Even suppose I’d sinned—how would that hurt you? You’re responsible for every human being. Don’t you have better things to do than pick on me? Why make a federal case out of me? Why don’t you just forgive my sins and start me off with a clean slate? The way things are going, I’ll soon be dead. You’ll look high and low, but I won’t be around." (Job‬ ‭7:17-21‬) This is raw. This is real. This is the kind of honest emotion God welcomes from His children. God’s a big boy. We aren’t going to offend Him with our words. He can handle all we throw at Him. And Job’s words here in this passage invite us to share our deepest, most intimate thoughts and feelings with God. 

But such raw emotion is too much for Bildad. He feels he has to rush to God’s defense. (As if God ever needs us to defend Him.) “Does God mess up? Does God Almighty ever get things backward? It’s plain that your children sinned against him— otherwise, why would God have punished them? Here’s what you must do—and don’t put it off any longer: Get down on your knees before God Almighty. If you’re as innocent and upright as you say, it’s not too late—he’ll come running; he’ll set everything right again, reestablish your fortunes.” (Job‬ ‭8:3-6‬) Brutal. Harsh. Unloving. Uncaring. Your children died because they sinned? Chalk that one up to “things never to say to people who are in pain!” But Bildad goes even further, insisting Job has clearly sinned and therefore deserves what he has received. If only Job will seek God - as if Job hasn’t - then he will be healed and restored. 

But Job clings to his faith. He continues to acknowledge the sovereignty of God. “So what’s new? I know all this. The question is, ‘How can mere mortals get right with God?’ If we wanted to bring our case before him, what chance would we have? Not one in a thousand! God’s wisdom is so deep, God’s power so immense, who could take him on and come out in one piece? He moves mountains before they know what’s happened, flips them on their heads on a whim. He gives the earth a good shaking up, rocks it down to its very foundations. He tells the sun, ‘Don’t shine,’ and it doesn’t; he pulls the blinds on the stars. All by himself he stretches out the heavens and strides on the waves of the sea…So how could I ever argue with him, construct a defense that would influence God?” (Job‬ ‭9:2-8, 14‬) Though Job is not “guilty as charged”, he understands his position before God. This really isn’t about guilt or innocence because again, suffering and sin do not exist in a one to one relationship. This is about Job’s pain not his purity. This is about Job’s suffering not his sanctity. This is about Job’s heartbreak not his holiness. He is hurting and out of his hurt, he cries out to God. 

Where are you hurting today? What heartbreaks have you experienced in your life? Where have you found yourself crying out to God? Know He hears every word. He listens to every prayer. Where have you been like Job’s friends? Struggling to find the right words to say when all you want to do is escape the situation? Have you ever said things more to ease your own conscience than to help the one in need? Learn to listen more deeply and be willing to sit in silence in the dust and ashes with those you love who are hurting and you will find yourself a much better counselor than Job’s friends.

Readings for tomorrow: Job 10-13

The Book of Job

Readings for today: Job 1-5

“Does Job fear God for no reason?” It’s a haunting question. Job not only feared God, he reverenced Him. He held Him in awe. Job respected and honored God. Job loved God and devoted His life to Him. To fear God in the Old Testament meant giving God His due. Treating God as He rightfully deserved. Humbly acknowledging the infinite gap that exists between us. Job did all these things and more but the Accuser (this is what the word “satan” literally means in the original Hebrew) comes before God to test that loyalty. Some wonder if this book is literal or an allegory. Did a man named Job actually exist or is this a book written to help God’s people process the problem of evil and suffering in the world? It is the oldest book in the Bible. The first one to be written. And that makes sense to me for it deals with one of the foundational, if not the most foundational, question of our existence…why do we fear and love and honor God?

Satan argues Job fears God because of the blessings he’s been given. “Have you not put a hedge around him and his house and all that he has, on every side? You have blessed the work of his hands, and his possessions have increased in the land. But stretch out your hand and touch all that he has, and he will curse you to your face.” Satan believes if everything Job has is stripped away he will curse God and renounce his faith. It doesn’t work. In response to the loss of all his possessions and the tragic death of all his children, Job responds, “Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return. The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.” Satan’s next tactic is to attack Job’s physical health and mental well-being. “Skin for skin! All that a man has he will give for his life. But stretch out your hand and touch his bone and his flesh, and he will curse you to your face.” Again, his plan fails. His accusations don’t stick. Job contracts a terrible disease. His body is a physical horror. He is terrifying to look at so he sits alone in the ashes, scraping his sores with the broken pottery of his former life. Still he holds fast to faith, “Shall we receive good from God, and shall we not receive evil?”

The rest of the book is a litany of Job’s anguish and anger at God. He yells. He screams. He weeps. He is bitter. He is resentful. He is demanding. He refuses to accept easy answers. Refuses to settle for superficial theology. He plumbs the depths of unimaginable pain and suffering. It is tempting to start to believe Job has lost his faith or at least is in the process of deconstructing but nothing could be further from the truth. It takes incredible faith to be this raw and honest before God and that’s why when Job finally comes to the end of himself, he finds God waiting for him there.

To be honest, I don’t know if Job was a real person but the anguish he expresses in the midst of his suffering is as real as it gets. The questions posed by this ancient book represent the deepest level of engagement with human pain and heartbreak. Do we fear God for no reason? Do we love God for who He is or because of the blessings He has poured out on our lives? Will our love for Him stand the test of suffering? There are no easy answers. One only faces this question when one comes face to face with the end of themselves and there in the darkness, they find God. 

Andrew Brunson is a missionary and pastor. He was imprisoned for his faith in Turkey. For two years or more, he languished as his fate became a subplot in an international standoff between the United States and Turkey. Everything he had was taken from him. He was barely allowed access to his family or the outside world. The charges he faced were untrue. The trials he endured were unjust. In the midst of his imprisonment, he suffered from terrible bouts of depression and despair. After he was released, he spoke at a national meeting I attended. He relayed all he had endured. He made no attempt to glorify his persecution. He spoke humbly and authentically and powerfully about how, when he reached the lowest point, he lost faith. But in that moment when he had nothing left, when he let everything go, when all hope was lost; he found himself saying, “Jesus…Jesus…Jesus” over and over again. Like Job, Andrew found Jesus waiting for him in the darkness and despair.

You and I may never suffer like Job or Andrew but we are all familiar with pain. We all know heartache. We all know what it’s like to feel bitter disappointment. We’ve all tasted suffering on some level. We all probably know what it feels like to come to the end of ourselves. The question we all have to face in those moments is this…do we fear God for no reason? When everything is stripped away, is God enough? Is He sufficient? Is He worthy of our love and devotion simply because He is God?

Readings for tomorrow: Job 6-9

Facing the Darkness

Readings for today: Job 10-13

Father, in the darkest moments of my life, I have found You faithful. You met me in my depression. You met me in my despair. Help me to remember You are always with me despite what I may be feeling or experiencing in a given moment or season of life. 

Fear. Anger. Depression. These are familiar feelings. The fall of 2009 was a dark period in my life. My ministry lay in ruins all around me and I was utterly broken. I had resigned. As far as I knew, my career was over. I had a little severance but no idea what was next. How would I provide for my family? How would I feed my four children? My wife worked but it wasn’t near enough to cover the bills. I was desperate. Alone. Afraid. For several months, I averaged about three to four hours of sleep a night. The rest of the time I would pace up and down in my living room, crying out to God. Fighting with God. Yelling at God. Weeping before God. The experience was deeply humbling. It took me to the end of myself and beyond. I was stripped. Laid bare before the Lord. Much of what I held dear was taken from me. My life shaken to its foundations.

“Why did you bring me out from the womb? Would that I had died before any eye had seen me and were as though I had not been, carried from the womb to the grave. Are not my days few? Then cease, and leave me alone, that I may find a little cheer before I go—and I shall not return— to the land of darkness and deep shadow, the land of gloom like thick darkness, like deep shadow without any order, where light is as thick darkness." (Job 10:18-22) I resonate with these words from Job. In the darkest time of my life, Job was my counselor. I spent hours with him, pouring over his words. Job gave me permission to acknowledge the darkness. Job gave me courage to face the darkness. Job helped me understand that it is in the deepest darkness of our lives, our lowest point, that we finally come face to face with God. It’s a terrifying experience. To come before the Lord naked. With empty hands. With nothing of our own to cling to. To walk through the valley of the shadow of death.

Shall we accept good from God and not evil? Those were Job’s words to his wife when he was stricken with disease. For me, it was the words of the prophet Isaiah, “Yet it was the will of the Lord to crush him; he has put him to grief; when his soul makes an offering for guilt, he shall see his offspring; he shall prolong his days; the will of the Lord shall prosper in his hand.” (Is. 53:10) Yes, I know these words refer primarily to Jesus but the Spirit impressed them on my heart as well. What if it’s God’s will to crush me? To put me to grief? Is my theology big enough to include the temporal suffering of the righteous? Clearly, for Zophar and the rest of Job’s friends, it is not. 

“If you prepare your heart, you will stretch out your hands toward him. If iniquity is in your hand, put it far away, and let not injustice dwell in your tents. Surely then you will lift up your face without blemish; you will be secure and will not fear.” (Job 11:13-15) Zophar takes the knife from Bildad and twists it deeper. Job continues to defend himself against his well-meaning but misguided friends. He rejects their superficial understanding of God. He continues to press his case against the Almighty. Job is processing his faith out loud as it were. He has reached the point of despair and the open question that looms over this entire book is this - will God answer? Will God respond? Will God meet us in our despair? 

Job seems to believe so. “Though He slay me, I will hope in Him...” (Job 13:15) Does our faith transcend even death? Does our hope and trust in the Lord extend beyond the boundaries of this life? In our darkest moments, do we believe “even the darkness is not dark to You? The night is bright as the day, for darkness is as light with You.” (Psalm 139:12) This is what I discovered. When things were at their most desperate. When life was at its most uncertain. When everything I held dear was slipping through my grasp, this one truth remained. God. And when that realization came flooding in, everything changed. Not my circumstances. Not my fortunes. Not my future. Those things were still very real and very scary and it took a long time to fully recover. No, what changed for me was the orientation of my heart. The orientation of my soul. My faith moved from my head to my heart to an even deeper place. I received from God a foundation not made with human hands that continues to sustain me to this day. 

Suffering is never without purpose. Not with God. In fact, it’s often where He does His best work.  

Readings for tomorrow: Job 14-17

Suffering

Readings for today: Job 1-5

Father, the devil prowls about like a lion looking for someone to destroy. The accuser of my soul is always alive and well seeking to devour all that is good in my life. Teach me to resist the devil that he may flee. Help me to place my confidence in the One who is stronger. The One who is Savior. The One who holds me in the palm of His nail-scarred hands. 

“Does Job fear God for no reason?” It’s a haunting question. Job not only feared God, he reverenced Him and held Him in awe. Job respected God and honored God. Job loved God and devoted His life to Him. To fear God in the Old Testament means giving God His due. Treating God as He rightfully deserves. Humbly acknowledging the infinite gap that exists between us. Job did all these things and more but the Accuser (this is what “satan” literally means in the original Hebrew) comes before God to test that loyalty. Some wonder if this book is literal or allegory. Did a man named Job actually exist or is this a book written to help God’s people process the problem of evil and suffering in the world? It is the oldest book in the Bible. The first one to be written. And that makes sense to me for it deals with one of the foundational – if not the most foundational question of our existence – why do we love God? Why do we honor God? Why do we fear God? 

Satan argues Job fears God because of the blessings he’s been given. “Have you not put a hedge around him and his house and all that he has, on every side? You have blessed the work of his hands, and his possessions have increased in the land. But stretch out your hand and touch all that he has, and he will curse you to your face.” Satan believes if everything Job has is stripped away he will curse God and renounce his faith. It doesn’t work. In response to the loss of all his possessions and the tragic death of all his children, Job responds, “Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return. The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.” Satan’s next tactic is to attack Job’s physical health and mental well-being. “Skin for skin! All that a man has he will give for his life. But stretch out your hand and touch his bone and his flesh, and he will curse you to your face.” Again, his plan fails. His accusations don’t stick. Job contracts a terrible disease. He is a physical horror. Terrifying to look at. He sits in the ashes, scraping his sores with the broken pottery of his former life. Still he holds fast to faith, “Shall we receive good from God, and shall we not receive evil?” In all this Job did not sin with his lips. 

The rest of the book is a litany of Job’s anguish and anger at God. He yells. He screams. He weeps. He is bitter. He is resentful. He is demanding. He refuses to accept easy answers. Refuses to settle for superficial theology. He plumbs the depths of unimaginable pain and suffering. And the most amazing part of the story comes at the end when he finally comes to the end of himself and finds God waiting for him there. I don’t know if Job was a real person but the question this book raises is one of the most real a believer can possibly face. Do we fear God for no reason? Do we love God for who He is or because of the blessings He has poured out on our lives? Will our love stand the test of suffering? There are no easy answers. One only faces this question when one comes face to face with the end of themselves and there in the darkness, they find God. 

Andrew Brunson is a missionary and pastor. He was imprisoned for his faith in Turkey. For two years or more, he languished as his fate became a subplot in an international standoff between the United States and Turkey. Everything he had was taken from him. Twenty years of faithful work in country was flushed down the drain. He was barely allowed access to his family or the outside world. The charges he faced were untrue. The trials he endured were unjust. He suffered from terrible bouts of depression and despair. After he was released, he spoke at a national meeting I attended. He relayed all he had endured. He made no attempt to glorify his persecution. He spoke humbly and authentically and powerfully about how he reached such a low point, he lost faith. But in that moment when he had nothing left. In that moment when he let everything go. In that moment when all hope was literally lost. All he found himself saying over and over again was “Jesus…Jesus…Jesus.” 

You and I may never suffer like Job or Andrew but we are all familiar with pain. We all know heartache. We all know what it’s like to feel bitter disappointment. We’ve all tasted suffering on some level. We all probably know what it feels like to come to the end of ourselves. The question we will all have to face in those moments – if we haven’t had them already - is this…”Do we fear God for no reason?” When everything is stripped away, is God enough? Is He sufficient? Is He worthy of our love and devotion simply because He is God?

Readings for tomorrow: Job 6-9

When Saints Suffer

Readings for today: Genesis 47-50

Father, Your Word literally reveals Your heart for Your people. It gives me wisdom and understanding into what it means to walk with You and before You. Teach me today how to think like You, speak like You, act like You, and ultimately, love like You.

Jacob is a broken man. When asked by Pharaoh to sum up the “days of his life”, he describes them as “few and evil.” He acknowledges he has not lived up to the standard of his fathers and forefathers. It seems clear he’s talking about more than longevity here. More than wealth. More than power. He has suffered. His losses have been grievous. The consequences for his sins have cost him dearly. He’s estranged from his twin brother. He defrauded his uncle. He’s buried both his wives. He thought he lost two of his sons. His oldest son shamed him deeply by sleeping with a member of his harem. Two of his other sons put his clan at great risk when they massacred a village. The famine he’s just survived has taken it’s toll. Now he stands before Pharaoh. He’s asked to sum up the years of his life. He’s asked to give an account of all that has happened to him. But rather than thank God for all that He has done for him, including restoring Joseph and Benjamin to his embrace, Jacob despairs. It’s terribly sad and heartbreaking. 

Life for the faithful can be hard. Some of the difficulties we face are the result of our own actions or inactions. They are the consequences of our behavior, both the good and the bad. Some of the challenges we face are completely outside our control. Natural disasters. Crippling disease. Violence and war. There is a myth out there that those who truly believe will always experience blessing. They will be wealthy. They will be powerful and influential. Everything they touch will turn to gold. This is patently false. There is another myth out there that those who are faithful to God will never experience depression or deep sadness or despair. Again, this is patently false. The sufferings of this present life often take us to the end of ourselves and beyond. The sufferings of this world are often too much for us to bear. Despite what you may hear, God often gives us more than we could ever handle so that we will learn to rely on Him. I have seen this in my own life. I know many other saints who have experienced this as well. 

Consider the example of Mother Theresa. A literal saint of a woman who dedicated her life to serving Christ among the poorest of the poor in Kolkata. She was revered for her work. She won the Nobel Prize. She was recognized and honored the world over for her sacrifice. But after her death, her private memoirs were published and it was revealed that she had experienced the absence of God for the last half-century of her life. She felt like she was wandering in spiritual darkness. She was deaf to God’s voice. Blind to His presence. She didn’t experience Him in worship or in the Eucharist or as she served Him alongside the broken. And it wasn’t because of her sin. She was experiencing what many Christians have experienced throughout history. It’s called the “dark night of the soul.” A terrifying walk through the valley of the shadow of death where everything is stripped from us, including the sense of God’s abiding presence. Does this mean God has abandoned us? Not at all. Did Mother’s Theresa’s experience mean that God had abandoned her? Not a chance. Just as God never left poor Jacob, He never leaves us. He is with us even when we cannot sense Him or see Him or feel His presence. Be encouraged by the words of the Psalmist, “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will not fear for Thou art with me.”

Readings for tomorrow: None

Discouragement

Readings for today: Jeremiah 14-16, 1 Timothy 5, 6:2

There is a myth many Christians believe. If we are walking faithfully with the Lord. If we are obeying His commands and living according to His Word. If we are praying and worshipping and serving Him then we will not face hardship. We will not struggle or suffer or endure any pain. Life will be good and blessed and we will be happy. Fundamentally, we believe if we do our part, God is bound to do His and our lives should reflect His favor. 

But then we read a passage like this one from Jeremiah today... “Woe is me, my mother, that you bore me, a man of strife and contention to the whole land! I have not lent, nor have I borrowed, yet all of them curse me...Your words were found, and I ate them, and your words became to me a joy and the delight of my heart, for I am called by your name, O Lord, God of hosts. I did not sit in the company of revelers, nor did I rejoice; I sat alone, because your hand was upon me, for you had filled me with indignation. Why is my pain unceasing, my wound incurable, refusing to be healed? Will you be to me like a deceitful brook, like waters that fail?” (Jeremiah‬ ‭15:10, 16-18‬) Jeremiah is angry with God. He’s bitter and frustrated. He’s fulfilled the call of God. He’s been faithful. He took God’s Word and proclaimed it to the people at great personal cost. They beat and persecute him. They spit on him and mock him. He has no friends. No family. He sits alone. Who knows how long he has suffered? We only know he’s finally reached a breaking point. He is in anguish. He is in pain. He is depressed. He is discouraged. He accuses of God of being deceitful. Lying to him. Pulling a bait and switch. 

It’s real. It’s raw. It’s honest. It’s not uncommon. I’ve been there myself. I remember well the 19 months we spent in Wisconsin. We were fully convinced God called us to go there to plant a church. We were excited. We were passionate. We couldn’t wait to get started. God had given us a vision. He had given us plenty of resources. We were confident we would do great things for Jesus. Within a few months, our dream became a nightmare. For the first time in my life, I became a man of “strife and contention” to those I worked for. I felt cursed. Afflicted. Unjustly accused. I didn’t handle it well. I complained. I grew frustrated. I got angry with God. I felt like He had let me down. I felt like He had broken faith with me. After all, I had given up a thriving ministry and uprooted my family and poured my heart and soul into this new work. All to no avail. I ended up broken. Battered. Bruised. I contemplated throwing in the towel on ministry altogether. My wife was in an even darker place. It was the most painful time of our lives.  

In the midst of our heartache, I cried out to God and this is what He said. In essence, “Should you accept good from me and not hardship? Did you think this life I called you to was only going to be up and to the right? One success after another? What if it is my will to crush you? To break your pride? To make you suffer so you learn to depend on Me? Am I not enough for you?” It was sobering and convicting and strangely...comforting. Even in our darkest moments, God was there. Though His presence was a refiner’s fire, it felt good. The kind of good one feels after a hard workout or when one has overcome something incredibly difficult. You may still bear the scars but they become badges of honor along the way. 

Such was true for Jeremiah as well. Listen to the Lord’s response to him in the midst of his pain.  "If you return, I will restore you, and you shall stand before me. If you utter what is precious, and not what is worthless, you shall be as my mouth. They shall turn to you, but you shall not turn to them. And I will make you to this people a fortified wall of bronze; they will fight against you, but they shall not prevail over you, for I am with you to save you and deliver you, declares the Lord. I will deliver you out of the hand of the wicked, and redeem you from the grasp of the ruthless." (Jeremiah‬ ‭15:19-21‬) The call on Jeremiah’s life will be a hard one. God is relentless. He will use Jeremiah as a hammer to break the nation’s pride. He will be ostracized. Isolated. Hated. Persecuted. He will suffer and struggle and endure tremendous pain. But through it all, God will be with him. God will give him the strength he needs to bear up under the burden. 

Only you know the burdens you carry in life. Only you know the source of those burdens. Sometime we suffer because of our sin. The choices we make lead us down dark paths. We have to own those choices. Take responsibility. Repent and turn back to the Lord. Sometimes the Lord leads us into suffering. To refine us. Test us. Break sinful patterns of pride and self-sufficiency in our lives. In those times, we must submit. Accept. Surrender to His sovereign will and trust even the hard times serve His purposes in our lives.  

Readings for tomorrow: Jeremiah 17-19, 1 Timothy 6:2-21