comfort

The Blessing of Brokenness

Readings for today: Job 20-23, Psalms 140

There is a famous play by Thornton Wilder called, “The Angel that Troubled the Waters.” In the play, he describes the scene at the pool of Bethesda where a multitude of hurting people gather to wait for that miraculous moment when the angel of God descends, stirs up the waters of the pool, and they become a source of healing. Anxious, crippled, broken people gather there day after day, hoping against hope that they will be the ones to receive the gift of healing. Among them is one particular man who never quite seems to make it. Others are always jumping the line in front of him to get to the pool first. On this particular day, he cries out in desperation to the angel to help him into the water so he can find healing but the angel instead whispers to him, “Stand back, this healing is not for you. Without your wound where would your power be? It is your very remorse that makes your low voice tremble into the hearts of men. Not the angels themselves can persuade the wretched blundering children of earth as can one human being broken on the wheels of living. In love’s service, only wounded soldiers can serve.”

Why do the words of Job’s friends offer such small comfort? Because they do not come from the mouths of those wounded in love’s service. They do not come from men broken on the wheel of living. Yes, what they say often - though not always - reflects God’s truth but the words are not offered in empathy or compassion. They are arguing with Job not comforting him. Thankfully, God never makes this mistake. In our deepest, darkest moments. When the future seems so bleak and the pain feels overwhelming. There God meets us. He wraps his arms around us. He doesn’t offer answers so much as He offers us Himself. He knows what it is to suffer so He can help those who are suffering. He knows what it is to feel alone and abandoned so He can help those who struggle with the same. In a very real sense, He Himself has been “broken on the wheels of living.” He is the wounded soldier who serves the cause of love.

We all experience pain and suffering in this life. Some more than others. Some less than others. But all of us know its sting. We all experience grief and loss in this life. Some more than others. Some less than others. But all of us know what it’s like to lose someone we love. We all experience heartbreak and tragedy in this life. Some more than others. Some less than others. But all of us know what it feels like to have someone or something dear stolen from us. And by faith, these experiences become gifts. Strange gifts to be sure but gifts nonetheless. Gifts we can share with others who may be going through the same thing. Friends, this is the beauty of the gospel. It is the story of a God who embraced suffering in order to bring comfort. Embraced pain in order to bring relief. Embraced death in order to bring life. And through Christ, all your pain and suffering and grief and heartbreak is redeemed. It becomes part of the beauty God is bringing out of the ashes of your life. It becomes a gift you get to share with those you love.

Readings for tomorrow: Job 24-28, Psalms 141

Small Comfort

Readings for today: Job 16-19, Psalms 139

I try to imagine how I would respond if I had a friend like Job. Someone who loses it all. Would I be faithful? Would I stand by his or her side? Would I offer to help? Would I be willing to sit with them in their grief and pain? Would I be willing to listen as they lashed out? I think back over the years of my life. I have known many who have gone through very hard times. They lose their families. They lose their children. They lose their jobs. They lose their homes. I’ve seen friends end up on the streets. I’ve seen those I love and serve as a pastor walk away from their faith. Thankfully not often. At least not in these extreme cases. How did I respond? I like to think I offered better comfort than Job’s friends but I know I’ve made my mistakes along the way. Especially when I was younger and less experienced. I can think of times when I said the exact wrong thing at the bedside of someone who was suffering. I can think of times when I said something insensitive at a funeral. I can think of times where I responded selfishly rather than selflessly to those who were hurting and in need.

Job’s words pierced my heart this morning and the memories of my mistakes came flooding back in. “How long will you torment me and crush me with words? You have humiliated me ten times now, and you mistreat me without shame.” (Job‬ ‭19‬:‭2‬-‭3‬ ‭CSB‬‬) The faces of those I unwittingly “tormented and crushed” with my words flash through my mind. One after the other. How many times did I pile on instead of relieve their burdens? How many times did I try to give them an answer for their suffering rather than simply sit with them in it? How many times did I avoid them altogether because of my own discomfort with pain? “Have mercy on me, my friends, have mercy, for God’s hand has struck me. Why do you persecute me as God does? Will you never get enough of my flesh?” (Job‬ ‭19‬:‭21‬-‭22‬ ‭CSB) How many times did I fail to have mercy? How many times did I fail to have compassion? How many times did I fail to love?

Thankfully, there is forgiveness. Many of those I’ve so carelessly mistreated over the years showed me immeasurable grace. Thankfully, there is growth as well. I am no longer the foolish man I once was. I am no longer naive and ignorant. I am no longer as prideful and arrogant. I am comfortable with discomfort. I am able to manage my anxiety even as I sit with those who are hurting and afraid. I have become quicker to listen and slower to speak over the years. I am not there to be sure. I still make my mistakes and say careless and foolish things from time to time. But God is faithful. He has used me more and more to bring His comfort and peace. He has grown me in my ability to be compassionate and caring and patient in times of great distress. Ultimately, my ability to bring comfort rests on the same confidence that Job exhibits in one of the more famous lines from the book. “But I know that my Redeemer lives, and at the end he will stand on the dust. Even after my skin has been destroyed, yet I will see God in my flesh. I will see him myself; my eyes will look at him, and not as a stranger. My heart longs within me.” (Job‬ ‭19‬:‭25‬-‭27‬ ‭CSB‬‬) God alone can provide the comfort we all so desperately need. Pointing people beyond ourselves, beyond this world, beyond any answers we think we can provide is what brings them hope in hopeless situations and help when they are hurting.

Readings for tomorrow: Job 20-23, Psalms 140

Empty Platitudes

Readings for today: Job 6-9

I’m reading the Message version of the Bible this year and love how author, Eugene Peterson, translates the ancient meaning of the text into 21st century American vernacular. Take the gut-wrenching questions of Job as an example. “Why didn’t I die at birth, my first breath out of the womb my last?” (Job 5:11) “Why does God bother giving light to the miserable, why bother keeping bitter people alive, those who want in the worst way to die, and can’t, who can’t imagine anything better than death, who count the day of their death and burial the happiest day of their life? What’s the point of life when it doesn’t make sense, when God blocks all the roads to meaning?” (Job 5:20-23) “Human life is a struggle, isn’t it? It’s a life sentence to hard labor.” (Job 7:1) After experiencing so much misery and tragedy and pain, Job finally reaches the point of utter despair. His friends are at a loss. They don’t know how to help. They are afraid for their friend. As they sit with their friend in the ashes of his life, an anxiousness begins to grow within them. Every word Job speaks only increases their anxiety and fear. Their feelings of helplessness. Their feelings of hopelessness. Finally, they can’t take it anymore and they begin to respond. 

How do I know this is what Job’s friends are experiencing? Because it’s what I experience every time I walk into a similar situation with people I love who have experienced suffering. I have been in the emergency rooms with parents as they said goodbye to their children. I have been in the neonatal units watching infants struggle for every breath. I have sat at the bedside of those dying from cancer and tried to bring comfort to their loved ones. I have been in the developing world and seen life-threatening poverty. I have prayed over men and women whose condition is utterly hopeless because they simply do not have access to the resources they need to survive. In EVERY single case, I feel helpless, inadequate, afraid, frustrated, and I despair. These feelings threaten to overwhelm me and, if I am not careful, can cause me to say things more for my own benefit than for the good of others. This is what we see play out in Job’s conversations with his friends. They are experiencing all kinds of emotions as well as they sit with Job and eventually reach a breaking point where they feel they have to respond. Not for Job’s sake but for their own. 

Eliphaz is the first to speak. “You’ve been hit hard and you’re reeling from the blow. But shouldn’t your devout life give you confidence now? Shouldn’t your exemplary life give you hope? Think! Has a truly innocent person ever ended up on the scrap heap? Do genuinely upright people ever lose out in the end?” (4:6-7) Now this is a theologically true statement. The fear of God is our confidence.  Walking in integrity with God is our hope. God promises to protect the innocent and the upright. These things are all true. At the same time, speaking these words to a man who has lost all he holds dear and who, even now, suffers from sores and wounds that are infected with worms is insensitive and superficial at best. What Job needs is not an answer to why he is suffering but friends who will simply sit and listen and let him process his pain for however long it takes. Yes, it is true that “mortals are born and bred for trouble, as certainly as sparks fly upward.” (5:7) But for Eliphaz to suggest to Job that if he were in Job’s shoes, he’d “go straight to God, I’d throw myself on the mercy of God. After all, he’s famous for great and unexpected acts; there’s no end to his surprises….” (5:8-9) is patently absurd. Eliphaz simply has no idea how he would respond were he in Job’s situation and that’s why his words fall on deaf ears. 

Job responds with a stinging rebuke. “When desperate people give up on God Almighty, their friends, at least, should stick with them. But my brothers are fickle…They arrive so confident - but what a disappointment! They get there, and their faces fall! And you, my so-called friends, are no better - there’s nothing to you!” (6:14-15, 20-21) He clearly sees their fear. He clearly sees their discomfort. He clearly sees their anxiety as they sit helpless before him. He knows they are struggling with how to respond. But he also knows Eliphaz’s answer is far too simplistic. Suffering and sin do not exist in a one to one relationship. This situation has nothing to do with cause and effect. Eliphaz’s theology is far too superficial to explain why some people suffer in extraordinary ways when they have not extraordinarily sinned. Nor is it adequate to explain why some people prosper in extraordinary ways when they clearly are extraordinary sinners! So Job rejects what Eliphaz has to say. 

Once again, Job cries out to God. “What are mortals anyway, that you bother with them, that you even give them the time of day? That you check up on them every morning, looking in on them to see how they’re doing? Let up on me, will you? Can’t you even let me spit in peace? Even suppose I’d sinned—how would that hurt you? You’re responsible for every human being. Don’t you have better things to do than pick on me? Why make a federal case out of me? Why don’t you just forgive my sins and start me off with a clean slate? The way things are going, I’ll soon be dead. You’ll look high and low, but I won’t be around." (Job‬ ‭7:17-21‬) This is raw. This is real. This is the kind of honest emotion God welcomes from His children. God’s a big boy. We aren’t going to offend Him with our words. He can handle all we throw at Him. And Job’s words here in this passage invite us to share our deepest, most intimate thoughts and feelings with God. 

But such raw emotion is too much for Bildad. He feels he has to rush to God’s defense. (As if God ever needs us to defend Him.) “Does God mess up? Does God Almighty ever get things backward? It’s plain that your children sinned against him— otherwise, why would God have punished them? Here’s what you must do—and don’t put it off any longer: Get down on your knees before God Almighty. If you’re as innocent and upright as you say, it’s not too late—he’ll come running; he’ll set everything right again, reestablish your fortunes.” (Job‬ ‭8:3-6‬) Brutal. Harsh. Unloving. Uncaring. Your children died because they sinned? Chalk that one up to “things never to say to people who are in pain!” But Bildad goes even further, insisting Job has clearly sinned and therefore deserves what he has received. If only Job will seek God - as if Job hasn’t - then he will be healed and restored. 

But Job clings to his faith. He continues to acknowledge the sovereignty of God. “So what’s new? I know all this. The question is, ‘How can mere mortals get right with God?’ If we wanted to bring our case before him, what chance would we have? Not one in a thousand! God’s wisdom is so deep, God’s power so immense, who could take him on and come out in one piece? He moves mountains before they know what’s happened, flips them on their heads on a whim. He gives the earth a good shaking up, rocks it down to its very foundations. He tells the sun, ‘Don’t shine,’ and it doesn’t; he pulls the blinds on the stars. All by himself he stretches out the heavens and strides on the waves of the sea…So how could I ever argue with him, construct a defense that would influence God?” (Job‬ ‭9:2-8, 14‬) Though Job is not “guilty as charged”, he understands his position before God. This really isn’t about guilt or innocence because again, suffering and sin do not exist in a one to one relationship. This is about Job’s pain not his purity. This is about Job’s suffering not his sanctity. This is about Job’s heartbreak not his holiness. He is hurting and out of his hurt, he cries out to God. 

Where are you hurting today? What heartbreaks have you experienced in your life? Where have you found yourself crying out to God? Know He hears every word. He listens to every prayer. Where have you been like Job’s friends? Struggling to find the right words to say when all you want to do is escape the situation? Have you ever said things more to ease your own conscience than to help the one in need? Learn to listen more deeply and be willing to sit in silence in the dust and ashes with those you love who are hurting and you will find yourself a much better counselor than Job’s friends.

Readings for tomorrow: Job 10-13