Readings for today: 2 Corinthians 3-4, Psalms 150
For most of my life, my goal was self-sufficiency. I didn’t want to have to depend on anyone for anything. When I left home at 18 to go to college, I promised myself I would never go back. Not because my home life was bad but because I felt this desperate need to be on my own. Independent. I’ve always had this personality streak. My mom tells a famous story about my first day at preschool. She drove me up to the school, unbuckled me, and gave me my backpack. She was hoping for a tender moment where I would hug her and tell her how much I would miss her and how much I needed to stay with her. Sadly, it was not to be. I simply turned around and walked into school. Didn’t even look back to wave goodbye. My poor mother! Fast forward about twenty years. My wife and I are dating. There were moments when she needed me but I had other plans. I refused to change them for her. Didn’t even think twice about it. No wonder we were told by an older, wiser couple - both of whom were mental health professionals - that in their professional opinion, we weren’t good for each other. I was too independent. Too self-sufficient.
Perhaps that’s why the words from the Apostle Paul hit home with me. “Such is the confidence we have through Christ before God. It is not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything as coming from ourselves, but our adequacy is from God. He has made us competent to be ministers of a new covenant, not of the letter, but of the Spirit. For the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life.” (2 Corinthians 3:4-6 CSB) The Apostle Paul was a self-sufficient man. He had spent his entire life progressing ahead of his peers in Pharisaism. He was on track to be one of the major leaders of his sect of Judaism. He had studied at the feet of the greatest teachers. He was born with the privilege of Roman citizenship. He was a polyglot who could speak multiple languages and interact with different cultures. He was brilliant, passionate, and deeply committed to his faith. But all of it was insufficient to prepare him for his calling as a “minister of the new covenant.” Coming face to face with the Risen Christ reminded Paul of his deep inadequacies and insecurities. As faithful as he was to the “letter” of the Law, all he could produce was death. Only by surrendering to the Holy Spirit, could he produce life.
I too spent my entire life growing up trying to chase success. Whatever I put my hand to, I tended to succeed. I was an all-state athlete. Honor student. Eagle Scout. I sang solos in the church choir and was the lead when we produced a version of Godspell. I was well on my way to self-sufficiency but then I met Jesus. And Jesus revealed my deep inadequacies and insecurities. He showed me that for all my effort to follow all the rules and achieve success, all I had produced at the end of the day was dust. Only by surrendering to Him would I ever find the significance I was looking for, and longing for, in my life. Thankfully, I said “yes” to Jesus that day and He made me a minister of a new covenant so that I might impart His life to others. What about you? Are you still striving? Are you still waking up each day trying to win the rat race we call life? Or have you entrusted your life to Jesus? Will you let His Spirit in to give you the abundant life only He can deliver?
Readings for tomorrow: 2 Corinthians 5-6, Psalms 1