Readings for today: Psalms 10-12, Acts 17:16-34
“The Lord is in his holy temple; the Lord’s throne is in heaven; his eyes see, his eyelids test the children of man. The Lord tests the righteous, but his soul hates the wicked and the one who loves violence. Let him rain coals on the wicked; fire and sulfur and a scorching wind shall be the portion of their cup. For the Lord is righteous; he loves righteous deeds; the upright shall behold his face.” (Psalm 11:4-7)
I confess there are times when I lose heart. Times when I look at the world around me and feel overwhelmed by all the injustice. All the pain. All the suffering. All the heartbreak. All the fear. All the evil. The cumulative weight of human sin breaks the scales. It is simply incalculable. It is immeasurable. Too vast for me to even imagine. I’ve looked into the eyes of those who’ve suffered terrible abuse or violence or disease or life-threatening poverty. I’ve looked into the eyes of mothers holding out their babies to me, begging me to take them with me. I’ve looked into the vacant eyes of fathers, lying on a roadside wasted by drugs. I’ve spent time with the homeless and listened to their heartbreaking stories. I’ve felt the anger of friends of color who’ve been victimized by persistent racism or classism. I’ve seen the injustice of a broken justice system firsthand as a chaplain in a maximum security prison. Truly, humanity’s inhumanity is more than I can bear.
I confess there are times when I lose heart. Times when I look at those I love and live among and feel overwhelmed by the burdens they carry. So much anxiety. So much fear. So much chasing after the wind. We are a brittle people. Fragile and easily hurt. There is so much that divides us. So much that tears at the fabric of our life together. So many powerful forces threaten to drive us apart and in many cases they’ve succeeded. I grieve when I listen to some of my friends. I grieve when I see the hatred they post online. I grieve at the words that are said that cannot be taken back. I grieve when relationships are cut off, people are ghosted, and love is lost in a sea of disappointment and anger and frustration. Truly, the inhumanity with which we often treat one another is more than I can bear.
I confess there are times when I lose heart. Times I look in the mirror and see the depths of my own sin. So much pride. So much selfish ambition and vain conceit. So much entitlement. So much self-righteousness. So much fear and doubt and anxiety and pain. I too chase after the wind. I too am a brittle person. I too am fragile and weak and easily hurt. I’ve taken shots I did not earn. I’ve been the subject of rumors and gossip that was both untrue and unfair. These things hurt. They wound. But I am not just a victim. I am a perpetrator as well. I’ve said things I deeply regret. I’ve acted in ways that cause me deep shame. I’ve betrayed. I’ve wounded. I’ve hated or despised my brother or sister. I’ve participated in systems of injustice.I am as much a contributor to the brokenness of this world as anyone. The weight of my sin is incalculable. And my ability to sin seems only surpassed by my ability to rationalize away my sin. Truly, my own inhumanity is more than I can bear.
If I am not careful, I can easily be driven to despair. If I do not stay close to Christ, I will be crushed under the weight of it all. Thankfully, the words of the Psalmist give me hope this morning. They are there to encourage me to look beyond myself. Beyond my own unrighteousness. Beyond the unrighteousness of those around me. Beyond the unrighteousness of this world. To the only One who is truly righteous. The Lord. The One who is even now in His temple. The One who is even now sitting on His throne. The One who reigns and rules from heaven. The One who sees all and knows all. The One who rewards the righteous and calls the wicked to account. The One who will not let sin persist forever. The One who binds the evil one from enacting his calamities on the earth. The One who controls time and space. God is on His throne. He reigns! He rules! This is our only hope in this life or the next. God is even now working to bring about His will on earth as it is in heaven. He is bringing about His will in my life, in the lives of those I love, and in the community in which I live for His Name’s sake and His own glory.
So my prayer this morning is simply this…Father, help me remember. Help me keep my eyes fixed on Christ. Help me to trust that no matter what I may experience, You have never left Your holy temple. You will never abdicate Your throne. You remain sovereign over all. Your eyes see. You are even now testing humanity. The righteous along with the unrighteous. Your righteous judgment is coming. And if I cling to Christ, I will see You face to face. Amen.
Readings for tomorrow: None