Readings for today: 1 Samuel 25-27, Psalms 17, 73
The hardest thing I have ever set my mind and heart to is seeking after God. Even as a Christian. Even as a pastor. I get so easily distracted. My fears and anxieties sometimes get the best of me. My selfish and greedy desires sometimes push me off course. Even my desire to serve God can get in the way of me seeking after God. That is why it’s so critically important for me to spend time with God every day and invite the Holy Spirit to search my heart. Check my motives. Reorient my desires. Restrain my passions. Refine my thoughts and attitudes. Judge my words and actions.
I love how David describes this process in one of the Psalms we read today…“Go ahead, examine me from inside out, surprise me in the middle of the night— You’ll find I’m just what I say I am. My words don’t run loose. I’m not trying to get my way in the world’s way. I’m trying to get your way, your Word’s way. I’m staying on your trail; I’m putting one foot in front of the other. I’m not giving up.” (Psalms 17:3-5 MSG) Perhaps it’s because I’m getting older or my bladder’s getting smaller but I often find myself awake in the middle of the night. I used to get frustrated by it but I’ve learned over the years to turn that time to prayer. I seek the Lord in the quietness of my home when everyone else is asleep. There’s no one clamoring for my attention. No texts or emails to return. No phone calls to make. No demands on my time. It’s just me and my Lord and that seems to be when I hear Him best. In silence and solitude. In the peace and quiet. In the stillness when the noise of my life is at it’s lowest ebb.
I think of how much pressure David faced in his life when he was on the run. I think of the stress he must have felt as he did his best to care for those who followed him and their families. I think of the fears he must have fought along the way. The temptations he faced to take matters into his own hands. How many sleepless nights did he face? And still he sought God. He took it day by day. He put one foot in front of the other. He never gave up. That sounds about right. That’s how I’ve experienced prayer over the years.
The most important thing to remember in prayer is that it is less about getting an answer and more about spending time in the presence of the One who loves you most. It’s less about getting what you want in the time that you want it and more about cultivating a deep trust in God. It’s less about the content of our prayers - though God wants to hear everything that has us concerned - and more about the consistency of coming before Him with open hands and an open heart.
Readings for tomorrow: Psalms 35, 54, 63, 18