Readings for today: 1 Samuel 1-3
Have you ever prayed a prayer from a place so deep it felt like it was wrenched from the depths of your soul? A prayer you prayed night after night? Day after day? Maybe even hour by hour? A prayer you prayed for years? A prayer you prayed through tears? A prayer you prayed with everything in you?
Hannah prayed such a prayer. Listen to how Eugene Peterson translates it in The Message…”Oh, God-of-the-Angel-Armies (literally Lord of hosts), if you’ll take a good, hard look at my pain, if you’ll quit neglecting me and go into action for me by giving me a son, I’ll give him completely , unreservedly to you. I’ll set him apart for a life of holy discipline.” (1 Samuel 1:11) Hannah had endured so much pain over the years. She was tormented and abused by her rival Peninnah. She was ashamed of her barrenness. She felt cursed by God for not being able to bear children. Her suffering was so great she often lost her appetite. She constantly felt like she was letting her husband down. She was “crushed in soul” according to the account we read today. Thankfully, in her despair, she sought God. She cried out to Him. She brought her tears and broken heart and laid it at His feet. So distraught was she in prayer that Eli, the high priest, thought she was drunk!
Hannah’s pain and Hannah’s prayer were both real and authentic. “I’m a woman broken-hearted. I haven’t been drinking. Not a drop of wine or beer. The only thing I’ve been pouring out is my heart, pouring it out to God. Don’t for a minute think I’m a bad woman. It’s because I’m desperately unhappy and in such pain that I’ve stayed here so long.” (1 Samuel 1: 15-16) Clearly, Hannah holds nothing back and Eli honors her with his blessing and this changes everything for her. Her appetite returns. Her sadness lifted. She seems ready for whatever God has in store.
This is truly the purpose of prayer. Yes, Hannah will conceive and bear a son. Yes, Hannah will dedicate him to the Lord just as she promised. Yes, God will use Samuel in a powerful way to accomplish His will for His people. But the biggest answer to prayer was the change in Hannah’s heart. In seeking the Lord, she exchanged sadness for joy. In honestly and authentically coming before Him, she exchanged despair for hope. In holding nothing back, not even her deepest pain and heartbreak, she exchanged anxiety and fear for peace. How was she able to do this? She kept her heart focused on God not just the answer God might provide. She trusted His will above her own. She surrendered her life into His sovereign hands.
What about you? What prayers do you pray? Do they come from the heart? From the place of deepest brokenness in your life? Are you willing to lay everything before the Lord, holding nothing back? Are you willing to relinquish your will into His hands? Trust Him for the answer He may provide? This is the essence of true prayer.
Readings for tomorrow: 1 Samuel 4-8