Doubling Down

Readings for today: Job 22-24

I remember vividly the last time I gambled at a casino. It was in the late nineties before I became a pastor. I was on a business trip to Las Vegas and a friend of mine and I decided to play craps. We had a good night. When it came time for me to roll, I hit a hot streak. Rolled for almost 40 minutes without hitting a seven. It was crazy. People were cheering. Money was being made hand over fist. Frankly, I’ve never experienced anything quite like it. In the middle of all the chaos, a homeless man shuffled in. The lines in his face told the story of a hard life on the streets. He hadn’t showered in days. His teeth were almost gone. His eyes were blurry and unfocused. He held a crumpled up $20 bill he’d found in the gutter somewhere. He threw it down on the table. I promptly rolled a seven. The board cleared. The run was over. Everyone turned on this man. They cursed him. They jeered him. He just turned and shuffled away, never saying a word.  

I sometimes think about that man when I pray. I wonder where he is? Where life took him? If he ever got any help or if he just continued to barely survive on the streets? Doubling down each chance he got when someone gave him some money? I think about my own life. In so many ways, I am just like him. Doubling down on my own sin in my own heart rather than humbly submitting to God. As I read Eliphaz’s words this morning, I can feel his frustration boiling over. The general theological principle he’s held to his entire life - the righteous prosper, the unrighteous are punished - has failed him. But rather than humbly recognizing the failure and taking a step back, he doubles down. He attacks his dear friend Job. He accuses him of crimes against God. “You’re a first-class moral failure, because there is no end to your sins.” (Job 22:5 MSG) You have robbed your brothers. You have stripped the naked. You have withheld water from the thirsty. You have not fed the hungry. You have treated widows and orphans with disdain. Over and over again, he verbally assaults his friend. Someone once asked me why Satan is not more visible in Job after the first few chapters. My answer was that we encounter him throughout the book in the words of Job’s friends. Remember, satan means “accuser.”

How does Job respond? He doubles down on God. “If I knew where on earth to find Him, I’d go straight to Him. I’d lay out my case before Him face-to-face, give Him all my arguments firsthand. I’d find out exactly what He’s thinking, discover what’s going on in His head. Do you think He’d dismiss me or bully me? No, He’d take me seriously. He’d see a straight-living man standing before Him; my Judge would acquit me for good of all charges.” (Job 23:3-7 MSG) Job is confident in God’s justice and righteousness. Confident God will hear his prayers. Confident God would pay attention to him, unlike his friends who seem so bent on contending with him. 

The problem, of course, is Job can’t seem to find God in the midst of his suffering and pain. Though he’s assailed the heavens, they seem shut up. Though he’s cried out, all he’s received so far is deafening silence. Job has done his best but to no avail. “I travel East looking for Him - I find no one; then West, but not a trace; I go North, but He’s hidden His tracks; then South, not even a glimpse.” (Job 23:8-9 MSG) However, he does not despair. Why? Because he trusts God. “But He knows where I am and what I’ve done. He can cross-examine me all He wants, and I’ll pass the test with honors.” (Job‬ ‭23:10 MSG‬) Though Job can’t seem to find the way to God, God knows the way to him. And at the end of all the trials and all the trauma, Job is confident God will make things right. Job is confident he will emerge better than before.

Admittedly, I am partial to these verses. When things have been at their darkest in my own life or I’ve struggled with uncertainty and doubt and fear or when the trials I’ve faced have taken me to the end of myself and the end of my resources and the end of my plans; Job 23:10 has been my comfort and my hope. I know what it’s like to double down on sin. I know what it’s like to double down on self-destruction. I know what it’s like to double down in my pride and arrogance. And in those moments, God has broken me utterly and completely. Humbled me in so many ways. He has laid me low to teach me about His sufficiency and grace. He has used the trials of my life to refine me. Purify me. Sanctify me. And His work is not done. Not until I reach glory. 

Readings for tomorrow: None