Readings for today: Job 22-24
Father, above all, I long to place my trust in You. Far too often I place my trust in myself. My ability. My wisdom. My resources. My desires. They almost always fail me. Help me to learn to look beyond the temporary pleasures of this world to that which is eternal.
I remember vividly the last time I gambled at a casino. It was in the late nineties before I became a pastor. I was on a business trip to Las Vegas and a friend of mine and I decided to play craps. We had a good night. When it came time for me to roll, I hit a hot streak. Rolled for almost an hour without hitting a seven. It was crazy. People were cheering. Money was being made hand over fist. Frankly, I’ve never experienced anything quite like it. In the middle of all the chaos, a homeless man shuffled in. The lines in his face told the story of a hard life on the streets. He hadn’t showered in days. His teeth were almost gone. His eyes were blurry and unfocused. He held a crumpled up $20 bill he’d found in the gutter somewhere. He threw it down on the table. I promptly rolled a seven. The board cleared. The run was over. Everyone turned on this man. They cursed him. They jeered him. He just turned and shuffled away, never saying a word.
I sometimes think about that man when I pray. I wonder where he is? Where life took him? If he ever got any help or if he just continued to barely survive on the streets? Doubling down each chance he got when someone gave him some money? I think about my own life. In so many ways, I am just like him. Doubling down on the sin in my own heart rather than humbly submitting to God. As I read Eliphaz’s words this morning, I can feel his frustration boiling over. The general theological principle he’s held to his entire life - the righteous prosper, the unrighteous are punished - has failed him. But rather than humbly recognizing the failure and taking a step back, he doubles down. He attacks his dear friend Job. He accuses him of crimes against God. “Is not your evil abundant? There is no end to your iniquities.” (Job 22:5) You have robbed your brothers. You have stripped the naked. You have withheld water from the thirsty. You have not fed the hungry. You have treated widows and orphans with disdain. Over and over again, he verbally assaults his friend. Some have asked why Satan is not more visible in this story? Do we not hear him in the accusations Job’s friends lob over and over again?
How does Job respond? He doubles down on God. “Oh, that I knew where I might find him, that I might come even to his seat! I would lay my case before him and fill my mouth with arguments. I would know what he would answer me and understand what he would say to me. Would he contend with me in the greatness of his power? No; he would pay attention to me. There an upright man could argue with him, and I would be acquitted forever by my judge.” (Job 23:3-7) Job is confident in God’s justice and righteousness. Confident God will hear his prayers. Confident God would pay attention to him, unlike his friends who seem so bent on contending with him.
The problem, of course, is Job can’t seem to find God in the midst of his suffering and pain. Though he’s assailed the heavens, they seem shut up. Though he’s cried out, all he’s received so far is deafening silence. Job has done his best but to no avail. “Behold, I go forward, but he is not there, and backward, but I do not perceive him; on the left hand when he is working, I do not behold him; he turns to the right hand, but I do not see him.” However, he does not despair. Why? Because he trusts God. “He (God) knows the way that I take; when he has tried me, I shall come out as gold.” (Job 23:10) Though Job can’t seem to find the way to God, God knows the way to him. And at the end of all the trials and all the trauma, Job is confident God will make things right. Job is confident he will emerge better than before. Refined. Purified. Sanctified as God separates the gold from the dross in his life.
Admittedly, I am partial to these verses. When things have been at their darkest in my own life. When I’ve struggled with uncertainty and doubt and fear. When the trials I’ve faced have taken me to the end of myself. The end of my resources. The end of my plans. Job 23:10 has been my comfort and my hope. I know what it’s like to double down on sin. I know what it’s like to double down on self-destruction. I know what it’s like to double down in my pride and arrogance. And in those moments, God has broken me utterly and completely. Humbled me in so many ways. He has laid me low to teach me about His sufficiency and grace. He has used the trials of my life to refine me. Purify me. Sanctify me. And His work is not done. Not until I reach glory.
Readings for tomorrow: None