God Will Provide

Readings for today: Genesis 20–23

Father, there is always value in spending time in Your Word. You honor every precious moment. You speak through every single verse. There is a message for me each and every day. May I slow down long enough to listen to Your still, small voice as you speak to me today.

“God will provide for Himself the lamb for a burnt offering.” I have long wrestled with this verse. It has been an enigma to me. How could one walk with such faith? Did Abraham really believe what he was saying or was this wishful thinking? Is he just trying to buy time while he figures out another way? Is he just telling Isaac what he wants to hear because he cannot bring himself to tell him the truth? Did Abraham ever doubt his course of action? Did he ever wonder if he misheard God? What kind of man would even consider sacrificing his own son? Why would I ever consider such a person someone to emulate? Perhaps you’ve wrestled with some of these questions as well? 

Recently, I’ve come to see this verse as the ultimate expression of Abraham’s faith. Abraham has this ability to take life as it comes. He walks with open hands before the Lord. He doesn’t cling to outcomes or conclusions or destinations. He began his journey with God without knowing where it would take him. He believed the promise of God for a son even though he had no idea of the timing. And here he is willing to offer his son as a burnt offering on a mountain God has yet to show him. He has no idea how this is all going to end. None of it made any sense. I’m sure it created all kinds of questions in his mind. But still he believes. He trusts God. He knows a promise has been made. A covenant has been established. God has committed Himself to Abraham and his descendants so somehow, someway this will all work out. The promise will not fail. Isaac cannot die on this mountain. Abraham walks by faith not by sight. He doesn’t have to solve this problem. He doesn’t have to come up with “plan B” in case God doesn’t come through. He lets go of his need to control the outcome. He lets go of his need to understand the mysteries of God. He lets go of his need to know the end of the story.

I am learning this same lesson in my life. The uncertainties of this last season have really caused me to slow down. To take each day as it comes. To not plan too far ahead. To let go of the need to figure things out. It’s actually okay to not know all God is up to. It’s actually okay to not understand all His ways. It’s actually okay to not know how all the things I’ve got going right now in my life will end. This is super challenging to me. It cuts against the grain of my natural way of doing things. I have always been the “man with the plan.” In fact, I don’t just have “plan B” but plans “C, D, E…all the way to Z!” I hate uncertainty. I get incredibly anxious when I am confused. I don’t like feeling out of control. So you can imagine how COVID has exacerbated these things to the nth degree! 

I’m learning to walk with open hands like Abraham. To trust that God Himself will provide the lamb for the burnt offering. When the pandemic began, all my plans got thrown out the window. How in the world does one “pastor” remotely? How would our church respond to the crisis? How do I navigate the layers of conflict around public health policy, political hyper-partisanship, and ethnic tensions? How do I help people process the trauma and grief of the past two years? How can I cast a vision for the future of our ministry when I don’t even know what tomorrow may bring? How can I love my own family in the midst of our disagreements and divisions? I’ve wrestled with all these questions and more and what I’ve discovered is I don’t have to have all the answers. The more I slow down. The more I listen. The more I let go. The more I create space for God to step in and provide. And you know what? He has never once failed to show up! I’ve seen more miracles in the past year in my life and in my church family than I can count and it is all because God has proved faithful to provide the “lamb” for every single “burnt offering.” 

Readings for tomorrow: Genesis 24-26