Readings for today: Job 31-32, Acts 13:1-25
Yesterday, I did something profoundly stupid. We planned a trip to hike a 14er in the area and I googled the shortest route from our condo to the trailhead. What I didn’t take into account is the quality of the road. After all, I’ve driven on 4WD roads before to get to 14ers. However, this one was new. I had never been in this area before. All of it was an unknown. And did I mention it was dark? I am not a person who is easily rattled but driving to the top of Cinnamon pass in a Suburu Outback in the dark with my family just about shot my nerves. When we finally arrived at the trailhead - after having stopped near the top of the pass to let the sun rise - another hiker called what I’d done, “badass”, but the look on his face told me he thought I was insane. He was right. There was nothing cool or courageous about it. It was not something to be celebrated. It was the act of a fool.
So why did I make the choices I made yesterday? What instincts drove me to continue on rather than wait? What impulses within pushed me to keep driving when the wise thing to do would have been to stop and turn around? As I’ve taken these thoughts before the Lord, He has shown me the depths of my pride. I was on a mission. The mission was to climb a 14er. I didn’t want to turn back because I knew we wouldn’t be able to find another route into the trailhead. I put the goal before the safety of my own family. My own need to succeed before the greater need to keep those I love safe. Now thankfully, we made it. Thankfully. we did summit Handies Peak. Thankfully, we found another route home that took us several more hours and thankfully, we received the unexpected blessing of seeing more of our beautiful state. One might say, “All’s well that ends well” but I want to make sure I learn the lesson God is teaching me. You see, the whole point of this life is to draw so close to Jesus that I actually become like him. Not just in word or deed but in thought and attitude and even unconscious reaction. I want to get to a place where my natural reflex is to love like Jesus. To protect like Jesus. To put the needs of others before me like Jesus. Yesterday only shows me how far I still have to go.
In today’s reading, Job lists several things that illustrate his godly character. He makes a covenant with his eyes not to undress another woman. He refuses to walk with falsehood or have any relationship with deceit. He treats his servants well because he sees in them the image of God. He takes care of the poor, the widow, and the orphan. He does not judge them for their disadvantaged state. He does not place his trust in his great wealth nor does he allow any potential idol in his heart to stand. He will not rejoice when his enemies fall. He will not take any pleasure in the demise of those who’ve attacked him. He has not exploited the land for his own personal gain. Job is such a godly man that the actions he lists come quite naturally to him. They are godly reflexes he’s developed over time. How does that happen?
It begins with a simple, yet profound acknowledgement. God sees everything. He sees what we do. He hears what we say. He knows what we think. He sees our conscious as well as our unconscious. The id, the ego, and the superego are not mysteries to Him. He knows our reflexes and our natural responses before we know them. He knows why we react the way we do. He knows what happens in the back of our brains as well as the front. He sees the unformed places of our hearts. He knows our secret thoughts and desires. He knows the fears and insecurities that drive us. He sees all. He knows all. And Job understands this great truth.
Job also understands God’s great love. Though never really mentioned in the book, only a person fully secure in his/her relationship with God could say the things Job says. Only a person fully convinced of their friendship with God would ever believe they deserved an answer from Him. Job believes God is bound to him on some level just as he is bound to God. Job believes God owes him an answer on some level because Job has lived his entire life in humble worship and service to Him. And the great news of this book is that God answers Job’s call. Job is not ignored. He is not dismissed. He is not abandoned. God speaks. God answers. God ultimately affirms His relationship with His “servant Job” and reaffirms His opinion of him, “that there is none like him on the earth, a blameless and upright man, who fears God and turns away from evil.” (Job 1:8)
When one understands the depths of God’s omniscience and His unfailing love, one is set free from ever trying to hide from Him. One is set free to bring all of oneself before the Lord and engage in the process of self-examination in the security of an eternal relationship with Him. You see, the closer I come to Jesus, the more my sin is revealed. The closer I come to His purity, the more my impurities show up. The closer I come to His holiness, the more aware of my unholiness I become. Without a relationship with God, I would be driven to depression and despair. But because I know God loves me with an everlasting love. Because I have confidence that nothing can separate me from God’s love. I am free to bring even the darkest places of my heart before Him. I am free to lay down all of my shame. Through the Holy Spirit, I can courageously confront my fears and insecurities. I can expose the utter depths of my sin to the light of His grace and be healed. Transformed. Made more into the image of Christ.
The process of self-examination is an essential part of the Christian journey. The more we know ourselves, the more we know God. The more we know God, the more we know ourselves. Let the Spirit guide you. Trust the Spirit’s work within you. Stop running. Stop hiding. Stop trying to pretend you are something you are not before the Lord. Trust His love for you. Trust His compassion towards you. Trust the sufficiency of His mercy and grace. You are safe in His arms. Safe to be who you are, warts and all. God loves you for who you are and He loves you too much to leave you there. He will do His transformative work within you if you will but let Him. If you ever have any doubts, just ask Job.
Readings for tomorrow: Job 33-34, Acts 13:26-53