Readings for today: Genesis 42-43, Matthew 14:22-36
Ultimately, there are two ways to live. You can live honestly. Openly. Transparently. Vulnerably. Daily practicing unconditional love and forgiveness and reconciliation. The result being a life of peace. A life of deep joy. A life of gracious self-acceptance because you have nothing to hide. Nothing to fear. Nothing to protect. No false self to prop up. Jesus calls this the narrow way. It’s a hard way. Those who find it and are willing to submit to it are few. Or you can choose the wide way. The easy way. The way the world recommends. Always hiding your true self. Always living deceptively on some level, not letting anyone in. Guarding your heart against any pain and suffering. Refusing to look in the mirror. You can love conditionally. Forgive selectively. Refuse to reconcile. The result is a life of guilt. A life of fear. A life of fleeting joy. A life of self-regret. A life of self-destruction.
Sadly, I meet too far many people who choose the latter of the two scenarios. Just like Jesus said I would. Rather than take an honest inventory of their own failings and mistakes, they become hyper-critical of others. Rather than take responsibility for how they may have contributed to another person’s pain, they lash out defensively, always protesting their innocence. Rather than do the hard work of navigating broken trust in relationships, they simply ghost the person and move on. Recently, I read an editorial from a major news outlet extolling the virtues of cutting people out of one’s life. The premise from the author was that her life was better without her mother. DNA doesn’t matter. Biological connections simply aren’t worth it. We should discard anyone in our lives who we deem to be “toxic.” Now are there scenarios where estrangement needs to happen? Of course. Some people are so abusive - verbally, emotionally, physically, spiritually - that we need to cut them off. But such tragedies are never to be celebrated. They are to be grieved. Friends, the brokenness of our world is legion. It is breathtaking in scope and heartbreaking in depth. And it leads in a direct line to the rise of suicide, depression, anxiety-disorders, opioid and other drug abuse, alcoholism, sexual addiction, etc. that so many are struggling with today. We all know it. We must come to grips with it. We have to face it. And we have to ask God for the courage to choose the narrow way.
The Joseph narrative reveals a similar dynamic. As a young man, Joseph was an insufferable fool. The favored son of an aging father from his beloved wife, he was given all kinds of privilege and power in the family. Resentment grew to the point where his own brothers wanted to kill him. After throwing him in a pit, they made the fateful decision to sell him into slavery instead so they could turn a profit. It seemed like such an easy solution to all their problems but this tragic act will haunt them for the rest of their lives. Fast forward a few decades. Joseph has risen to power in Egypt. He has saved the nation from a devastating famine and now the whole world comes to humble itself before him. His own brothers make the journey and he immediately recognizes them. But he is suspicious. Why are they here? What do they want? Most importantly, do they regret the decision they made all those years ago? So he puts them to the test. They believe they’re being punished for the sins of their past. The pain is real. It extends back to Jacob, their father, who has to undergo the pain of letting his youngest son - the only son he has left from the wife he loved - go to Egypt with no guarantee he’ll return. Reuben attempts to assuage his father’s concern. “Kill my two sons if I don’t return with Benjamin.” What kind of monster would Jacob have to be to kill his own grandchildren? The dysfunction here is real. The consequences of the sinful choices of this family over the years are now being realized. The weight of their guilt and shame lies heavy upon them. They are once again at a crossroads. Which path will they choose?
We all live dysfunctional lives to some extent. We all find ourselves straddling on some level the two paths I outlined above. I imagine most of us have days when we are honest and open and transparent and real. I imagine we also have days when we are guarded, dishonest, and secretive. I imagine most of us have days when we are able to love unconditionally. Forgive generously. Reconcile freely. And I imagine we all have days when love is difficult. Forgiveness a pipe dream. Reconciliation beyond us. I know I do. Friends, the goal of the Christian life is to surrender more and more each day to the Holy Spirit. To let Him draw us close into the presence of our Heavenly Father where there is grace and peace and life in abundance. It is a life of openness and honesty and transparency because, after all, who can hide anything from God? It’s costly because it forces us out of our comfort zones, out of the protective cocoons we’ve created for ourselves, out of the self-centered life we tend to naturally choose. And it’s not easy. Our bodies, minds, and emotions often rebel. The act of submission is a courageous choice we all have to make in a world that will never celebrate following Christ. That’s why Jesus says, “Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few.” (Matthew 7:13-14) May we choose the narrow way today.
Readings for tomorrow: Genesis 44-45, Matthew 15:1-20