Over the last few weeks, I have had several conversations with people I love who are struggling. Their struggles are spiritual. Emotional. Relational. Even physical in some cases. My heart breaks for them as I have listened to their stories. So many suffer from a crushing level of guilt. So many have broken relationships in their lives. So many hate what they see in the mirror. The shame is real. The fear is real. The anxiety is real. And what I've discovered in counseling them is that somewhere along the way they have bought into a lie.
We live in constant danger. Bombarded by messages through mainstream and social media. So much information is being thrown at us on a daily basis, it is hard to separate truth from lie. Fantasy from reality. So much of how we think about life or think about the people in our lives or even think about ourselves is shaped far more profoundly by our culture than by the truth God has revealed in the Bible. Though 90% of Americans own a Bible, far fewer ever open it. As a culture, we may revere the Bible as a holy book but we do not read it or reflect on it regularly.
Many years ago, a friend of mine shared a story about how bank tellers are trained to discern real money from the counterfeit. Rather than be shown all the possible counterfeits out there, they are trained to handle the real thing. They become so familiar with the feel, the smell, the look of the real thing that any counterfeit that comes across their desk will immediately stick out. I have no idea if this story is apocryphal or not but I do believe in the principle. The more we handle, the more we read, the more we engage the truth of God's Word, the more easily we can spot the lies our culture is telling us.
So when the young woman sits down in my office and tells me she hates what she sees when she looks in the mirror...I point her to the passages in Scripture that tell her she is fearfully and wonderfully made. She is made in God's image. She was shaped and formed by God in her mother's womb. Or the young person plagued by anxiety and fear so much so they cut just to get a release...I encourage them to cast all their anxieties on Christ because He cares for them. Or to cling to the peace that passes all understanding that guards their hearts and minds. My hope is that through professional Christian counseling (which I refer them to), they will stop believing the lies and instead let the truth of God set them free. When a couple sits down, clearly at odds for all sorts of reasons and tells me they are on the verge of divorce. That their differences are irreconcilable. I point them to the passages of Scripture that tell them they are to submit to one another out of reverance for Christ. Wives submit to your husbands as to the Lord. Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church and lay down your life for her. Seek to outdo one another in showing honor and respect and unconditional love. My hope is that in our time together, they will begin to believe the truth about their marriage rather than the lies. The longer I am in ministry, the more I am convinced this is the common thread.
One of my favorite movies is Good Will Hunting. The movie details the relationship between a counselor and a very gifted, yet very troubled young man. This young man, played by Matt Damon, is a victim of so much abuse in his life and had come to believe the lie that it was "all his fault." The climax of the movie comes when the counselor, played by the late Robin Williams, confronts the young man with the words, "It's not your fault." It's not your fault. Over and over again, he repeats these words until he finally breaks through the lies to the young man's heart and he is set free. It is a powerful scene and it resonates deeply with me. There is nothing like watching someone come to believe the truth about themselves for the first time. It is miraculous.
The other day I sat down with someone I care deeply about. They shared with me how much guilt they carry over the things they've done in their life. Without a doubt, they've lived a life apart from God in a number of areas. The consequences they face are real. The pain is real. The shame is real. But now they are in Christ. They have come to faith. And we turned together to 1 Corinthians 6:11, "You were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God." Over and over again, I brought them back to this verse. "But you don't know me...you don't know what I've done...you don't know where I've been..." they would say. "You were washed. You were sanctified. You were justified in the name of Jesus Christ", was my reply. "But you don't understand...I still feel the guilt...I've hurt people in my life..." they argued. "You were washed. You were sanctified. You were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ", I again replied. "But what about the hurt I still carry? The guilt I still feel?" with tears in their eyes. "You were washed. You were sanctified. You were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ", I whispered yet again, tears in my own eyes. Every protest met with God's grace. Every lie met with God's truth. Every error corrected by God's Word. And as our tears dried and we embraced, I could sense a glimmer of hope and freedom return. They still have a long road to walk but they have taken the first steps.
So...what lies do you believe? What lies have you just accepted uncritically that our culture embraces? And are you immersing yourself in the truth of God so that you can combat the lies? And be set free?