"Did you see the news?" I must have been asked that question a million times the other day when the Supreme Court made their decision on gay marriage. Usually followed by "what do you think?" and a lament about the declining moral state of our nation. And I sympathize. I really do. We are living through a time of massive cultural change and it's not just "change" that is hard but the pace of change. Things turn so quickly mainly driven by the ubiquitous nature of social media which is a great platform from which to launch such movements. So I get it. And I feel it viscerally myself.
I am a Christian. Specifically, I am an evangelical Christian. Furthermore, I am an evangelical pastor serving an evangelical church in an evangelical denomination. Now, to claim the label "evangelical" historically means to claim a certain worldview that is shaped first and foremost by a book called the Bible. It means I believe the Bible is not just any old book but one inspired by God Himself and without error on the spiritual matters to which it speaks. I know this seems like somewhat of an anachronistic view these days. For some, it means I have checked my brain at the door of my faith. For others, it means I have lost my sanity. For still others, it means I am misguided at best, perhaps a bigot at worst. I have been accused of all these things and more. I share all of that by way of setting up how I answered the questions above about the Supreme Court decision because of how those answers caught some of my friends - both progressive and conservative - a bit offguard.
My reaction to the news was positive on two levels. First, I am anti-discrimination. I do not believe our civil authorities either at the state or federal levels should allow discrimination on any level at any time be it racial/ethnic, sexual identity, religious affiliation, etc. I believe part of the limited role of government in our country is to try and create a society where people are truly free to be themselves authentically and honestly without fear as long as their behaviors do not put others in danger. I recognize this as the most serious challenge we will face as a country moving forward because of our propensity for intolerance of those who do not believe as we do. My gay friends have certainly borne the brunt of that intolerance for many years. (Often at the hands of evangelical Christians to our eternal shame and for which I continue to humbly seek forgiveness from my friends in the gay community.) As have many of my African-American friends. (Again, often at the hands of Bible-believing white Christians for which again, I have humbly sought forgiveness.) As are a growing number of my evangelical Christian friends now. And I celebrate the breaking down of societal barriers that have led to violence and pain on so many levels. At the same time, I recognize that navigating the ever-changing cultural waters while respecting one another's closely held beliefs will be extremely difficult but necessary in a society that is growing more and more secular with each passing year.
Second, I felt a deep sense of relief for the church. Our nation was founded on Judeo-Christian values and, as a result, the church has enjoyed "home field" advantage for centuries. A respected place in society. Tax relief. Housing allowances. These are just some of the tangible privileges we've grown accustomed to and there are many intangible benefits as well. Those are now going away. We are beginning to taste what life is like for most of our Christian brothers and sisters around the world where the church is not so closely aligned with the state. Many centuries ago, one of our early Church Fathers, Tertullian, asked a pointed question, "What does Athens have to do with Jerusalem?" His point in his day was to question the close link that was being forged between the prevailing Greek philosophical worldview of the time and the Bible. A man named Augustine wrote about something similar a couple of centuries later in his book The City of God where he questioned the close link between the Roman Empire and the Christian church. Throughout the centuries, the Christian church has always had to be careful about how closely it aligned itself with the secular governments of this world for various reasons. Now it is our time.
I believe the church is being set free. Set free from the political relationship that has threatened to shackle us at times. Silence our voice. Keep us quiet. Pastors are being set free from acting as agents of the state. We have now reached a point where the definition of civil marriage - which will continue to evolve in the coming years - will increasingly look less and less like Christian marriage. So our roads have now officially diverged which means in the coming years the differences between civil and Christian marriage will only grow more stark.
I have to admit, I am energized by this challenge! What we are witnessing is the death of the "cultural Christianity" which has so weakened the church in recent years. For the true followers of Jesus, this gives us a great opportunity to once again lift up before secular culture the beauty of the covenant of Christian marriage. By focusing again on the Author and Inventor of marriage and proclaiming His purpose (incarnation of the gospel) and design (one man and one woman) for this sacred covenantal relationship we can re-address - with grace and truth and love - both heterosexual and homosexual behaviors that fall outside God's perfect design for the marriage relationship. We can point people to the truth that our Heavenly Father, who shaped and formed us in our mother's womb, created the covenant of marriage for our good. As the most fulfilling and intimate relationship we can have with another human being in this world. And hopefully as the wheat separates from the chaff culturally, the beauty, mystery, and glory of the Christ-centered marriage will become self-evident.
"But what are you going to do?" This is where the rubber meets the road and I think every pastor needs to prayerfully consider long and hard what their response will be. I would not presume to tell others what their engagement with the culture should look like as every local context is different. What I will tell you is that I personally am done acting in any way as an "agent of the state." Years ago, I took the language of "by the authority invested in me by the state of Colorado" out of the wedding liturgy. The state of Colorado has never given me any such authority at all! Such language is indeed anachronistic and hearkens back to an age when things were much different. Furthermore, I am done signing civil marriage licenses. The weddings we perform in the church are for the purpose of promoting and creating Christian marriage. If the couple wishes to register their Christian marriage with the state of Colorado (something I would certainly encourage them to do!), they are empowered by our state to sign their own civil marriage license. But for me to sign a civil marriage license is to act as an "agent of the state" which I can no longer in good conscience do.
"Would you attend a gay wedding?" Absolutely! I have gay friends and it may be that some will choose to get married in the future. I would attend their wedding just as I would and have attended the weddings of friends who've lived together before getting married, friends who've been divorced multiple times, atheist friends, Muslim friends or any other friends that I have. I have and will attend weddings and celebrations of all kinds, Christian or non-Christian. To deny my gay friends this honor and love and respect simply because they are gay would be hypocritical and certainly not Christ-like.
"Would I perform a gay wedding?" No. To do so would violate my own closely held beliefs about the nature and sanctify of marriage and I would need to respectfully decline just as I do for all non-Christian weddings. Again, it would be hypocritical to single out my gay friends here. When I perform weddings, I take the couples through pre-marital counseling and reserve the right to refuse to perform the wedding if I believe they have no intent of living under submission to God's will for Christian marriage. Further, most of the couples I have refused to marry have fully respected my convictions precisely because I fully respect their convictions! No one wants to be a hypocrite and simply go through the motions.
Finally, I don't want to appear as if I don't care about my country or the direction of our culture. I most definitely do but I also fully trust in God's sovereign plan. I believe the blessings of obedience to Christ will become self-evident. As faithful Christians seek to make Christ the center of their marriages, I believe the depth and quality of this intimate relationship will become the fragrance of Christ to those being called to new life in Him. (2 Corinthians 2:15) Rather than place our hopes in the decision of nine men and women on a "Supreme" court or the decisions of legislative bodies or executive enforcement to hold back the rising tide of secularism in our country, I place my trust in my faithful Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.