Her name is Wanda. She is an older lady who is living in the later stages of dementia. She loves horses and it seems like the only memories left to her are of the horseshows she attended when she was younger. Each Sunday she dresses up in her western style clothes, puts on her makeup, and comes to worship with her caregiver. He is a very faithful man who spends his days taking Wanda from place to place around town. She will introduce him as her husband although they are not related. When she comes to worship, she often will get up in the middle of the service and wander. If you are lucky enough to sit on the aisle, she may grab your arm and ask you if you want to go to the horseshow that afternoon. She often speaks out during the sermon. It can be a little distracting at times although this last week it warmed my heart to hear her say, "He's really good!" :-) I love Wanda. She teaches me that worship is more than a cognitive experience. She reminds me that real community isn't always easy and life can be hard. Memories can fade. Our bodies break down. As we get older, we become more dependent on the love of others.
As I've shared how I feel about Wanda and how much I love the fact she is a part of our community, the reactions I've received have been awesome. One friend emailed me and said, "I believe God shared with me recently that when Wanda asks people if they want to go to a horse show, she's really asking could you love someone like me?" That's absolutely brilliant. Another friend shot me this note, "I just saw something on how dementia can take your mind but not your heart." So very true. Yet another friend wrote this, "Thankful for God getting messy by becoming one of us. Gospel living ain't decent and in order." Yep. One final message from a brother in Christ who struggles with MS, "It speaks well of us when we can embrace and spiritually support those who are less than perfect." All the more powerful because of what he himself has experienced.
Real life in real community is messy. Sounds so cliche and yet it's so true! Our community is made up of people who come from all walks of life. They all have different backgrounds and life experiences. All of them at different places along the spiritual journey. Each week they gather. Some come alone as they have lost a loved one or experienced a painful divorce. Some come with caregivers like Wanda because age has robbed them of their memories. Some come limping or hurting because they deal with chronic illness or pain and it's a victory just to get out of bed in the morning. Others come eyes downcast and hearts heavy as they struggle with depression or anxiety. Some are guarded because they've been wounded in the past. Others are enslaved to addictions of various kinds. Still others come as a last resort, hoping God can finally heal their marriage, their relationships with their children, or save their business. And there are many for whom life is good and they come strong and full of joy. Only God could gather such a group and hold it together. Only God could give us the strength and courage to push past our differences, past our fears, past our failures, past our tendencies to offend and hurt each other, and keep us in community. And it's only in such places that we learn what it means to love God with all our heart, soul, mind and strength by learning to love our neighbors - no matter how different from us they may be - as ourselves.
Over the years, I've been told, "That's no way to grow a church." The differences are just too great. That I need to target a certain demographic and tailor the ministry to meet their needs. I've been told people need a place to be anonymous. Where it's safe to come and attend without being challenged or confronted. I've been told people need a place to be comfortable. A place where they are rarely pushed beyond their comfort zone. I've been told people need to be entertained. To do whatever it takes to get them in the door. Of course, no one ever comes and says these things outright but it's often what's communicated in the way we do ministry in the church. And I simply, respectfully disagree with their approach.
I believe God delights in diversity. Age. Race. Culture. Liturgy. Worship style. Musical expression. You name it. It is ONLY as we come together across our differences that we learn what it means to truly die to self and live for Christ. Furthermore, this is a path none of us will choose willingly because it's just too hard. So we have to be challenged. Encouraged. Exhorted. Even forced into it a bit.
I believe God desires to be known. He makes himself known to us pre-eminently through His Son Jesus Christ and through the Scriptures which are the Word of God. I also believe God reveals himself to us in our relationships with each other. Anonymity is NOT a Kingdom value! As we share our stories and our lives. As we take risks and make ourselves vulnerable. As we confess our sins and secret fears. God does this amazing work of transformation. As we expose our shame to the light of day and the love of our brothers and sisters in Christ, it loses it's power over us. We are set free.
Finally, I believe God's embrace is as wide as the world itself. His grace is greater than we can possibly imagine. His love comes to us without any pre-existing conditions. I believe God wants his church to be a hospital for sinners. A place where you DON'T have to get cleaned up to come! Where you are loved for who you are NOT who you ought to be or feel like you should be. The church should be the one place where you don't have to measure up! You don't have to perform or appear a certain way! You are truly free to be you...warts and all!
Now is God's vision for his church challenging? Absolutely! Is it easy? Heck no! We are sinners. And all the church is - ultimately - is a group of sinners coming together in close proximity. So expect there to be some fireworks! Expect their to be some bruised egos. Some hurt feelings. You will get your toes stepped on from time to time! But if you stick with it, God's promise is that you will become more like Him!
Postscript: I love that I get to serve a church family who truly if imperfectly shares these same values! Love you PEPC! Thanks for being you!