Reconciliation

Readings for today: Ephesians 1-2, Psalms 8

Over the years, I have been asked to lead the reconciliation process for different churches. It’s never easy. Often the seeds of conflict have been germinating for years, sometimes even decades. The impact of unresolved conflict on the life and vitality of the church is significant. The lack of forgiveness cripples ministry, poisoning the well of trust on which churches depend. Addressing the pain of the past is not easy. It requires patient, diligent work to make sure everyone feels heard. The stories are often heartbreaking. The church hurt is real. And it takes great courage and humility to forgive and let go of the anger, frustration, and bitterness from the past.

I think of one church I consulted with many years ago. Once a vibrant growing congregation in a suburb of a major city in the southern United States, they had gone through a split in the 1970’s and never recovered. The pastor had a charismatic experience that changed his life and tried to lead his church in that direction. When he faced resistance, he decided to leave and most of the people chose to follow him. The remnant left behind were saddled with a huge mortgage and could barely pay their bills. The next pastor came in and after several tumultuous years was unceremoniously fired because he couldn’t “grow” the church. A third pastor came and went. Then a fourth and a fifth. Each one lasting only a few years. Finally, I got involved during yet another painful pastor transition. We talked about the gospel imperatives of forgiveness and reconciliation. We created space for people to share their stories of heartbreak and pain. Things were said that had needed to be said for years. People were able to process, in many cases for the very first time and there was some degree of healing. But the process of forgiveness and reconciliation is not easy. It can take years. It takes patience and persistence to pursue it. And sadly, the initial momentum wore off and things stalled out. The last I heard, the congregation had folded.

Before we can forgive and reconcile with others, we must first acknowledge and recognize what God has done for us. We were “dead in our trespasses and sins.” We previously “walked in the ways of the world.” We were enslaved to the “ruler of the power of the air.” We were by nature “children of wrath.” We were without Christ. We were excluded from the citizenship of Israel. We were foreigners to the covenant of promise. We were without hope and without God. So what did God do? He brought us near by the blood of His Son Jesus Christ. He tore down every dividing wall of hostility that existed between us. He nullified the Law with its demands. He made us one with Him and became our peace. And He proclaims this good news to us over and over again. Once this reality sets in, we are humbled. Once we come to grips with the vast, insurmountable distance God crossed to redeem us, our own differences seem petty by comparison. The pain and suffering and trauma we may have endured - while very real and important to address - is nothing compared to what God endured to save us. And this amazing grace begins to fuel our own efforts at forgiveness and reconciliation.

Nothing is impossible with God. No hurt is too deep for God to heal. No grief too great for God to comfort. No anger too much for God to calm. No wall too strong for God to tear down. No chasm too vast for God to cross. All it takes is faith. Faith to believe forgiveness is possible. Faith to believe reconciliation can happen. Faith to believe trust can be restored. Faith to believe in the power of the gospel.

Readings for tomorrow: Ephesians 3-4, Psalms 9

Forgiveness

Readings for today: Matthew 17-18, Psalms 89

It’s the million dollar question. I get it all the time. It gets asked in some form or fashion by lots of different people as they navigate relationships in life. How many times must I forgive? The world’s answer is clear. Not very many if any at all. The world tells us that when we are hurt, when we’ve been betrayed, when we’ve been attacked, when we are disappointed or let down to cut that person out of our lives. We are to end the relationship. It could be with an organization. It could be with a church. It could be a friendship. It could be a marriage. Forgiveness is not something we should offer that other party unless they earn it. We withhold forgiveness until they confess their sin against us and work hard to regain our trust. We demand restitution and reparation and only then will we consider extending the grace of forgiveness. Where has that gotten us as a society? Not very far. Relationships are broken and fractured in all sorts of ways. People feel more isolated than ever. Marriages don’t last very long. Families break up as kids split their time between households. Churches and other organizations are weakened as people leave at the first sign of disappointment.

Jesus offers us a different way. A much harder and more difficult way to be sure but one that promises so much more in terms of relational benefit. The way of Jesus recognizes that every single human being is a sinner. Every single human being is broken. Every single human being is imperfect and therefore prone to anger and impatience and vulnerable to hurt and disappointment. However, rather than encouraging people to cut and run, Jesus challenges us to remain connected through forgiveness. How many times must we forgive? This was the question the Apostle Peter asked him along the way. Probably because he was struggling to forgive his fellow disciples! Jesus response is legendary. Seventy times seven. In other words, as often as it takes. Why? Because that’s what God does for us.

So what is forgiveness? Is it the resolution of every feeling? Is it the end of all conflict? Does it give the other person a pass? Does it mean the person will never again sin against you? Is it fundamentally unjust? Does it mean we have to forget what they’ve done or pretend it didn’t happen? Not at all. Forgiveness is honest. It acknowledges the depth of the hurt. Forgiveness is courageous. It never forgets but is a conscious decision not to hold the hurt against the person. Forgiveness is just. It never denies the pain. Most of all, forgiveness sets us free. We are no longer bound by our hurt. No longer held back by our pain. No longer locked a cycle of bitterness or anger or frustration. And this is why Jesus calls His followers to forgive freely and often and as many times as it takes. He wants us to live in freedom. No longer held back by what’s happened in the past. No longer paralyzed by fear of what might happen in the future. This is what makes forgiveness so powerful.

Readings for tomorrow: Matthew 19-20, Psalms 90 (No devotionals on Sundays)

There’s Always More Grace

Readings for today: Jeremiah 33-36, Psalms 22

God’s grace is truly amazing. No matter how bad things get. No matter how far we fall. No matter how fast we run. God is always quick to forgive. Quick to relent of the judgment our sin rightfully deserves. Zedekiah is another in a long line of evil kings. Kings who reject the will of God. Kings who worship idols. Kings who seek their own glory and power instead of humbly serving God. Judgment is coming. Jeremiah has been sent to proclaim the impending doom. The sins of Israel are many and have piled up over the years, creating a mess God intends to use Babylon to clean up. It’s going to be ugly. It’s going to be tragic. It’s going to be painful. Many will suffer. Many will die. All they hold dear will be destroyed as God’s justice rolls down on the earth. 

But even now at the eleventh hour, there is hope. God’s mercy makes one last appearance. God commands Jeremiah to speak a word of grace to the nation. To speak words of life instead of death. “Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and incomprehensible things you do not knowI will certainly bring health and healing to Jerusalem and will indeed heal them. I will let them experience the abundance of true peace. I will restore the fortunes of Judah and of Israel and will rebuild them as in former times. I will purify them from all the iniquity they have committed against me, and I will forgive all the iniquities they have committed against me, rebelling against me. This city will bear on my behalf a name of joy, praise, and glory before all the nations of the earth, who will hear of all the prosperity I will give them. They will tremble with awe because of all the good and all the peace I will bring about for them.” (Jeremiah‬ ‭33‬:‭3‬, ‭6‬-‭9‬ ‭CSB‬‬) Yes, they cannot escape God’s judgment. Yes, they cannot escape the exile to come. But this is not the final word. God will not allow His eternal covenant to be broken.

"Look, the days are coming” — this is the Lord’s declaration — “when I will fulfill the good promise that I have spoken concerning the house of Israel and the house of Judah. In those days and at that time I will cause a Righteous Branch to sprout up for David, and he will administer justice and righteousness in the land. In those days Judah will be saved, and Jerusalem will dwell securely, and this is what she will be named: The Lord Is Our Righteousness. For this is what the Lord says: David will never fail to have a man sitting on the throne of the house of Israel. The Levitical priests will never fail to have a man always before me to offer burnt offerings, to burn grain offerings, and to make sacrifices.” (Jeremiah‬ ‭33‬:‭14‬-‭18‬ ‭CSB‬‬)

Friends, Jesus is the righteous Branch God has caused to spring up out of the waste and desolation that is left of Israel. God sends His Messiah to executive justice and righteousness in the land once more. God sends His Messiah to save His people and secure His city. Jesus is the greater David. The righteous King who now sits on His throne. Jesus is our great High Priest constantly making intercession for us before the Ancient of Days. Jesus is God’s answer to all that has gone wrong in this world and Jesus is God’s solution to the perpetual problem of human sin.

Readings for tomorrow: Jeremiah 37-39, Psalms 23

The Cost of Reconciliation

Readings for today: Isaiah 52-54, Psalms 119:97-128

I am extremely blessed to be friends with a man named John Rucyahana. John is a retired Anglican bishop who chairs the Truth and Reconciliation Commission in Rwanda. For almost thirty years, he has been engaged in helping his country recover from the horrific genocide in 1994. As such, he has wrestled deeply with the question, “Where was God as over one million people were being slaughtered?” And here is his answer in his own words, “Where was God when a million innocent people were being butchered? Where was God when priests and pastors helped massacre the people in their churches? I’ll tell you where God was. He was alongside the victims lying on the cold stone floor of the cathedral. He was comforting a dying child. He was crying at the altar. But He was also saving lives. Many were saved by miracles. God does not flee when evil takes over a nation...God is the giver of eternal life, and He can bring great good out of any situation. He raises the dead; He can also raise the broken. He can restore their hearts and minds and lift their spirits to renewed life. In my country God is doing this today by the thousands. There is so much pain here, so many real tears, and so much guilt that our ministry is like preaching hope from the top of a pile of bones. From atop a mountain of mutilated bodies, we are stretching a hand upward to proclaim a message of transformation and recovery.” (The Bishop of Rwanda ) 

I cannot fathom the journey so many in his country endured. The horror. The pain. The suffering. It’s immense. Indescribable. Beyond words. And yet, I would argue the forgiveness and reconciliation they have found is equally, if not more, profound. When I visited the country several years ago, I asked a woman if she was ethnic Tutsi or Hutu. “Neither” was her reply. “Here we are all Rwandan.” She went on to describe some of the hell she and her family had been through and the freedom they had found through forgiveness. Only Jesus could provide such grace. Only Jesus could give them such strength. How can I be so sure? Because Jesus knows the depths of human suffering. He experienced the absolute worst this world has to offer. He knows evil intimately and through his death defeats it once and for all. Listen to how the ancient prophet Isaiah describes the suffering of Jesus, some hundreds of years before His death and resurrection…

“He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief; and as one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not. Surely he has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows; yet we esteemed him stricken, smitten by God, and afflicted. But he was pierced for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his wounds we are healed...He was oppressed, and he was afflicted, yet he opened not his mouth; like a lamb that is led to the slaughter, and like a sheep that before its shearers is silent, so he opened not his mouth...Yet it was the will of the Lord to crush him; he has put him to grief; when his soul makes an offering for guilt, he shall see his offspring; he shall prolong his days; the will of the Lord shall prosper in his hand...Therefore I will divide him a portion with the many, and he shall divide the spoil with the strong, because he poured out his soul to death and was numbered with the transgressors; yet he bore the sin of many, and makes intercession for the transgressors.” (Isaiah‬ ‭53:3-5, 7, 10, 12‬)

The same God who bore the sins of many. The same God who makes intercession for transgressors. The same God who loved His enemies so much He died for them is the same God who is alive and active in Rwanda. Bringing about reconciliation through forgiveness. Preaching hope from atop a pile of His own bones. From atop His own mutilated body, He is stretching a hand upward to proclaim a message of transformation and grace. It’s truly incredible and it is available to all who would place their trust in Him. Friends, if God can bring about reconciliation between the victims and perpetrators of genocide in Rwanda can He not accomplish the same in our lives as well? Can He not bring together husband and wife on the verge of divorce? Can He not bring back together children and parents who’ve been estranged? Can He not help Democrats and Republicans find common ground? Can He not heal the racial tensions in our own country? These are just a few of the problems we face that only the gospel can solve. 

What is required? Repentance. Confession. Truth-telling. Courage. Faith. Humility. Most of all, a deep and abiding and enduring trust in the power of the gospel. 

Readings for tomorrow: Isaiah 55-57, Psalms 119:129-152

The Cost of Unforgiveness

Readings for today: 2 Samuel 16-18

Refusing to forgive someone always comes at a cost. The cost of intimacy when one holds a grudge against another. The cost of a relationship if the wound is too deep. The cost of a future you might have had with that person. The cost of peace as an entire family or community is disrupted.

We see the bitter cost of unforgiveness on display in our story today. The most obvious, of course, is the cost to Israel over David’s unwillingness to forgive Absalom and Absalom’s unwillingness to forgive in return. Their bitterness turns to open warfare, resulting in a civil war that will cost thousands of lives. However, buried deep within in this passage is another story of unforgiveness that factors into the equation. It’s the story of Ahithophel. I’ve always wondered why this man saddles his donkey, rides home, and commits suicide after his advice is not taken. It seems like such an extreme reaction. But when one digs deep, one finds an answer potentially revealing itself. In the list of David’s mighty men from 2 Samuel 23, we meet Ahithophel’s son. His name is Eliam. Eliam is listed in the same list as Uriah the Hittite, Bathsheba’s first husband. The plot thickens when we read in 2 Samuel 11:3 that Bathsheba is the daughter of Eliam. If it is indeed the same Eliam, this means he gave his daughter Bathsheba to his friend and comrade in arms, Uriah, in marriage thus signaling the closeness of their relationship. Now imagine you are Ahithophel and you are watching the events of the last few chapters unfold, helpless to intervene. You watch as your king - the king you have loved and served your entire life - rapes your granddaughter and murders her husband. You’ve most likely had to console your son in his rage and grief. Is it any wonder he joined the rebellion against David? And then when his counsel is not followed and he becomes convinced he will not be able to avenge the honor of his family, he goes home and takes his own life.

It’s a tragedy on Shakespearean levels. All because the parties involved refused to break the cycle of violence and shame and unforgiveness. Now I think about the many examples I see in my own life. Thankfully, they don’t reach the kind of level that David and Absalom’s or David and Ahithophel’s conflict reached. They don’t result in the death of thousands or a civil war but they do result in the death of marriages. The death of friendships. The death of small groups. The death of churches. I’ve watched as hurt, pain, disappointment, and unmet expectations turn into deep wounds that refuse to heal as both parties continue to withhold the forgiveness God demands. I’ve watched the bitterness and anger build until one party has to separate or leave or file or walk away. It’s never clean and never easy. The brokenness is often perpetuated in future relationships because when we refuse to forgive, we become enslaved to our pain. The pain of David would mark the rest of his reign, resulting in him giving his son Solomon a hit list as he lie on his death bed of people to kill. All because he refused to forgive.

What about you today? Who do you need to forgive? Who have you been withholding forgiveness from? Where do you need to let go of bitterness and anger and release the grudge you are carrying? In the Lord’s Prayer, Jesus teaches us to ask God to “forgive us our sins AS we forgive the sins of others.” Our experience of God’s forgiveness is intimately tied to the forgiveness we offer others. Trust the Lord. Follow His way. Extend forgiveness to those who’ve hurt you and be set free.

Readings for tomorrow: Psalms 26, 40-41, 58, 61-62, 64

Cycles of Revenge

Readings for today: 2 Samuel 13-15

“An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.” - Gandhi

“Fracture for fracture, eye for eye, tooth for tooth; whatever injury he has given a person shall be given to him.” - Leviticus‬ ‭24‬:‭20‬

The principle of proportional justice cited by Gandhi comes straight out of the Old Testament from passages like the one in Leviticus. It’s specifically designed by God to bring an end to the perpetual cycles of violence and revenge that plagued the ancient world. Insults were met with assault. Assaults met with murders. Murder met with the elimination of entire families. The elimination of families led to open warfare between tribes. These are generational cycles in honor/shame cultures. The next generation shouldering the responsibility to restore the honor of their family by taking revenge on those who wounded their fathers and mothers.

We see a similar dynamic play out in the stories we read today. David led a highly dysfunctional family. He played favorites. Indulged the children he liked and ignored the children he despised. Mostly he appears to be an absentee father who seems consumed with running the Kingdom of Israel rather than securing his succession and teaching his children to fear the Lord. The results are tragic. Amnon rapes his sister. Absalom assassinates Amnon. David effectively exiles Absalom. Absalom leads a rebellion to overthrow his father, dragging the entire country into war. At every point, there are opportunities to choose a different path. Amnon could have asked David for Tamar’s hand in marriage. David could have brought Amnon to justice for the rape of his sister. David could have chosen reconciliation after Absalom’s exile had ended. Absalom could have chosen the path of peace rather than war against his father. Sadly, the desire for revenge got the best of them which led to all kinds of horrific consequences for them, their families, their communities, and the nation.

Jesus said, “You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’ But I say to you, Do not resist the one who is evil. But if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also.” (Matthew‬ ‭5‬:‭38‬-‭39‬) The path Jesus offers is the path of non-violent resistance. He challenges his followers to break the cycles of revenge that so often enslave us and instead claim the moral high ground. He challenges them to overcome evil with good. Violence with peace. Hatred with love. There may not be a more radical teaching in all of Scripture! It would almost be too much except for the fact that Jesus Himself models this ethic in his suffering and death. Refusing to lift a hand against his oppressors. Refusing to call down legions of angels to fight on his behalf. Asking for forgiveness for us rather than revenge from the cross all because He trusted in His Father’s higher, greater plan. Do we trust God in this same way in our own lives?

Readings for tomorrow: Psalms 3-4, 13, 28, 55