Readings for today: Job 8-11, Psalms 137
“If he passed by me, I wouldn’t see him; if he went by, I wouldn’t recognize him.” (Job 9:11 CSB)
There is nothing worse than feeling abandoned. Especially if we feel abandoned by God. I know so many who have experienced this dark night of the soul or who are going through it even now. It is a lonely journey. One fraught with danger. Many lose their way. Many lose their faith. I have listened to their stories. Stories of abuse and trauma. Stories of struggle and heartache. Stories of existential longing and loss. It is probably the most heartbreaking part of the work I do. I often find myself in tears alongside them. I find myself praying desperately for them. I find myself wishing I could give them what their hearts long for. But I cannot. For I am not God.
Job is crying out to God. Crying out in the midst of his pain and suffering for God to answer. For God to deliver. For God to save. He is crying out for God’s presence. He longs to hear His voice. He wants to know God is with him but all he feels is God’s absence. Where is God when it hurts? Where is God when we struggle? Where is God when we suffer pain and loss? These are some of the deepest, most profound questions of our existence. They seem hardwired into our souls. Even those who do not think much about God find themselves asking these questions when tragedy strikes.
Job is not the only one who’s experienced God’s absence. The Psalms are filled with the cries of King David among others. Many saints down throughout the centuries testify to similar feelings. Ever felt this way? Ever prayed like Job? All of us have on some level. Every Christian I know has experienced the absence of God at some point in their lives. They have felt abandoned by God. Left on their own. It’s deeply unsettling. Challenging on an ontological level. It forces us to come face to face with our deepest fears. And lest you think it’s tied to sin, consider God’s servant Job who was blameless and righteous in his generation. Consider God’s servant David who was a man after God’s own heart. Consider God’s servant Mother Theresa who experienced a profound absence of God over the last several decades of her own life.
Consider Jesus Christ Himself who cried out from the cross, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” If we are going to faithfully follow Jesus, we should expect to go through this dark night of the soul. We should expect to travel through the valley of the shadow of death. We should expect God to wean us from trusting in our own “feelings” or “experiences” so we can learn to trust in Him alone. On the cross, Jesus felt the pain of His Father’s absence far more than the pain of the nails in his hands and feet. Over the course of her life, Mother Theresa felt the pain of God’s absence more than the pain of those she served in Calcutta. David. Job. All of them suffered terribly from existential loneliness. But God didn’t leave them there. God remained faithful. As they walked the dark and narrow and terrifying way, He was always at their side. Though they could not sense Him, He was beside them. Though they could not feel Him, He was there. Just as He redeemed His own Son’s life from the grave, so He redeemed Job’s life and David’s life and Mother Theresa’s life. And His promise is that one day He will redeem our lives as well. Trust Him. Trust Him more than your feelings. Trust Him more than your desires. Trust Him more than your experiences. Trust the One whose name is Faithful and True!
Readings for tomorrow: Job 12-15, Psalms 138