Sleepless Nights

Readings for today: Psalms 3-4, 13, 28, 55

“But you, O Lord, are a shield about me, my glory, and the lifter of my head.” ‭‭(Psalm‬ ‭3:3‬)

“In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.” ‭‭(Psalm‬ ‭4:8‬)

“But I have trusted in your steadfast love; my heart shall rejoice in your salvation.” ‭‭(Psalm‬ ‭13:5‬)

“The Lord is my strength and my shield; in him my heart trusts, and I am helped; my heart exults, and with my song I give thanks to him. The Lord is the strength of his people; he is the saving refuge of his anointed.” ‭‭(Psalm‬ ‭28:7-8‬)

“Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved.” ‭‭(Psalm‬ ‭55:22‬)

I needed all these words this morning. Last night was a sleepless night. I tossed and turned for much of it. My heart burdened for those I love. Those I serve. I think of my friend who lost his mother yesterday. I think of another friend with advanced MS who is fighting for his life against COVID-19. Still another friend who lost their job and despairs of any prospects. And other friends who have had to take dramatic pay cuts or lay off most of their employees. I think of the family of a well-known pastor who took his own life last week. I think of the mother whose son was murdered in cold blood. I think of my own children. Their hopes and dreams. Their struggles and frustrations. How I wish I could save them from all the pain! How I wish I could protect them from the hardships and suffering of this world!

I love the Psalms. They give voice to my deepest feelings. The Psalmist invites me to share openly and honestly and transparently before the Lord. The Psalmist reminds me I do not need to be afraid before God. He will not shame me. He will not dismiss me. He will not ignore me. He is faithful and true. Steadfast and loyal in His love. He will never leave me or forsake me. He is with me in the valley of the shadow when sleep is scarce. In the dark hours of the night as I lay my burdens before the Lord, He listens. He hears my prayers. He receives them and lifts them from my shoulders.

As I process my pain. My fear. My anxiety. My worry. My stress. The Psalmist eventually turns my heart to the Lord. To the source of my life. To the source of my strength. To the source of my salvation. He reminds me that though I cannot shield those I love from the brokenness of this world, the Lord can. Though I cannot keep those I love safe from the trials and tribulations of this world, the Lord can. Though I cannot save those I love from the pain and suffering and heartbreak, the Lord can. Though my strength often fails, the Lord’s never does. Though I am weary and heavy-laden, the Lord will give me rest. These promises renew my hope. Even in the midst of this crisis. Even in the midst of all we are going through right now. God is present. He is our help. He is our refuge. He is our sanctuary. May we rest in His everlasting arms.

Readings for tomorrow: 2 Samuel 16-18