Readings for today: Job 22-24
“Behold, I go forward, but he is not there, and backward, but I do not perceive him; on the left hand when he is working, I do not behold him; he turns to the right hand, but I do not see him. But he knows the way that I take; when he has tried me, I shall come out as gold…But he is unchangeable, and who can turn him back? What he desires, that he does. For he will complete what he appoints for me, and many such things are in his mind.” (Job 23:8-10, 13-14)
How many of us love to quote the verse from Jeremiah 29? About the plans the Lord has for us? Plans for blessing and hope and a future? I love those words. I love those promises. But what we too often fail to consider is the path we have to take to get there. The path to God’s blessing is often filled with pain. Often filled with suffering. Often filled with struggle and heartbreak. It is lonely at times. It is rocky and steep and exhausting. Why? Because God’s blessings cannot come to us until we are empty. Until we have come to the end of ourselves. Until we have finally and fully and completely surrendered our stubborn wills to His will. How does this happen? There is only one way attested by Scripture. We must go through the refiner’s fire.
There are many ways to read Job. Most of the time, we read it from Job’s perspective. We feel his anguish and pain. We take his side. We question God’s judgment and justice alongside him. But do we ever stop to ponder the accusation of the enemy and whether or not it may be true? Does Job fear God for no reason? Is Job’s faith the result of the blessings in his life? Is it dependent on good things happening to him? Will it survive poverty, deprivation, tragedy, trauma, grief, sickness, and despair? There is really only one way to find out. Job must walk what may Christians down through the ages have called the “dark night of the soul.” A period of testing so great that it takes us to end of our own strength. The end of our own desires. The end of our own faith. It takes us into the darkness. Into the unknown. Into the silence. It is a terrifying journey but one we must take if we are to truly test our faith and find out if it is real.
Many know the name Andrew Brunson. Andrew is an EPC pastor and missionary to Turkey for over twenty years. A few years ago, he was picked up off the street and put in prison. He became the pawn in a political showdown. He was kept in solitary confinement. Denied access to those he loved. Held in miserable conditions. Tried in kangaroo courts. It was a terrifying experience for him. This past summer he shared his experiences with us at a national meeting. He talked about feeling the utter absence of God in his suffering. He talked about getting angry with God. Feeling let down by God. Abandoned by God. As he shared, my first thoughts went to Job. This is how he must have felt! When Andrew descended to the point of deepest despair. Contemplating suicide in his cell. He found himself crying out one name over and over again. Jesus. Jesus. Jesus. And from that moment, his faith began to be restored.
Each of us has to endure the refiner’s fire. The details will look different. My dark night of the soul looks nothing like Andrew’s and little like Job’s. It involves the loss of a child. The implosion of a ministry. Almost losing my family. Coming face to face with my deepest fears and anxieties. In the darkness and silence of those experiences where I too felt the absence of God, I found myself saying over and over again on some level…Jesus. Jesus. Jesus. And my life has never been the same.
God will complete what He appoints for me. What a terrifying and comforting promise! Come what may. Come hell or high water. Through sacrifice and suffering. On the heights of great mountains and in the depths of deep valleys. God will carry me through. I will become what He has ordained me to become. I will be conformed to the image of His Son. This is what He does for Job. This is what He’s doing for Andrew. This is what He’s done for me and will do for all those who seek Him.