Readings for today: Judges 6, Luke 22:54-23:12, Psalms 95-96, Proverbs 14:5-6
“And the Lord turned and looked at Peter. And Peter remembered the saying of the Lord, how he had said to him, "Before the rooster crows today, you will deny me three times." (Luke 22:61)
I have often wondered what went through the mind of Peter the moment he locked eyes with Jesus after his three-fold denial. Shame. Grief. Heartbreak. Immediately after this he leaves the courtyard and weeps bitterly. But how long did these emotions stay with him? Did they fade in the days ahead? Did he begin to rationalize his behavior in his own mind? Justify himself? Or did the shame cling to him? Is that why he goes back to fishing? Is he trying to escape back to his former life before he met Jesus?
I have often wondered what went through Jesus’ mind the moment He locked eyes with Peter. Disappointment? Anger? Judgment? Frustration? I told you so? Jesus isn’t given much time to dwell on it as He is almost immediately taken out to be beaten and tortured. His thoughts turning from Peter to the pain and suffering He’s going to endure. However, as soon as He is raised, He seeks Peter out. Finds him on the shore of the Sea of Galilee where everything began and restores him in a beautiful exchange about the love Peter has for his Lord.
I think about the many times I have denied Jesus. The many moments in my life where I have betrayed my Lord. The sin that so easily entangles me. I am a broken man. I am a sheep who has gone astray. I have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. I am hopeless and helpless. Alone and afraid. But then I lock eyes with Jesus. I can see His love. I can see His grace. I can see His forgiveness. There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Nothing to fear from His perfect love. He went to the cross for me. He laid down His life in my stead. He shoulders the burden of my shame. He took my place.
As I look back at Jesus, I find myself grateful. Thankful. Overwhelmed with gratitude for all He has done. I fall on my knees in awe. I stand in His presence amazed. I throw my arms and my heart wide open to His grace and forgiveness and mercy. I surrender all that I am to Him. When I fall - and I know I will...multiple times...everyday - I trust Him to restore me just as surely as He restored Peter. For I am His and He is mine. And He looks on me with love.
Readings for tomorrow: Judges 7:1-8:17, Luke 23:13-43, Psalms 97-98, Proverbs 14:7-8