Readings for today: Daniel 7, 1 John 1, Psalms 119:153-176, Proverbs 28:23-24
It’s the hidden things that kill us. The stuff we bury deep inside. The secrets we keep. Yesterday, I saw the movie, It’s a Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood, which tells the story of Mr. Rogers and his friendship with a reporter named Lloyd. Lloyd is a troubled man. He is filled with all kinds of pain. Abandoned by his father as a boy, he watched as his mother died in agony. He’s never forgiven his father. Never forgotten his betrayal. And the anger he feels is poisoning his soul. He is cynical. He is bitter. And these unprocessed feelings warp his view of the world. Then he meets Mr. Rogers. Mr. Rogers is transparent. He is who he is whether on set or on the street. He has nothing to hide. As 1 John says so well, “He walks in the light.”
I know so many Lloyd’s. I’ve talked with them in my office. Prayed with them after worship. Met them for coffee at Fika. They’ve shared with me a bit of their darkness. Opened up to me about their pain. Confided in me their heartbreaks. So much of their lives are lived in fear of what might happen should they be exposed. They walk in darkness. I know this journey well. I too have walked in darkness. I too wander there every now and again. I am not immune. There are things I’ve done that I’m ashamed of. There are things I’ve said I wish I could take back. There are people I’ve hurt through my carelessness and callousness. And it is so tempting to try and move on. To stuff my emotions down deep inside and pretend I’m okay. But just like Lloyd, those things have a way of rising to the surface. Left unchecked, they begin to infect all we say and do. This is why we seem to repeat the same mistakes over and over again.
John points us to a different way. “This is the message we have heard from him and proclaim to you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all. If we say we have fellowship with him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin. If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.” (1 John 1:5-10) For far too long I read “light” and “darkness” in this passage as right and wrong. Good and evil. And I despaired. For I do not walk in the light as I should and so I would beat myself up over and over again. But now I think I understand John better. He’s not suggesting we live a life of perfection before God but a life of transparency. We walk in the light. Nothing hidden. Nothing held back. Nothing secret. We expose all that we are to the light of God’s presence. As we walk transparently before Him, we have fellowship with one another. True, deep, rich, authentic fellowship. Intimate relationships. Spiritual friendships. This is the natural byproduct of a life lived in the light. Walking transparently is not easy. It is scary. It is risky. We will constantly feel exposed and under threat. But we persevere knowing the blood of Jesus is sufficient to cover all our sin. We endure trusting God to be faithful and just to forgive us. We push on knowing we are being continuously cleansed from all unrighteousness.
What secrets are you keeping? What parts of your life do you keep hidden even from those you love? Where have you embraced darkness out of fear of walking in the light? Confess your sins to God. Bring those things transparently before Him. Let the promise of His forgiveness wash over you. Let His Spirit cleanse you. Let His grace heal and strengthen you so that you may walk transparently before those you love. Share your deepest, darkest secrets with those closest to you. To be loved for who you are not just the image you project is source of true freedom.
Readings for tomorrow: Daniel 8, 1 John 2:1-17, Psalms 120, Proverbs 28:25-26