Readings for today: Genesis 42:18-43:34, Matthew 13:47-14:12, Psalms 18:16-36, Proverbs 4:7-10
Ultimately, there are two ways to live. You can live honestly. Openly. Transparently. Vulnerably. Daily practicing unconditional love and forgiveness and reconciliation. The result being a life of peace. A life of deep joy. A life of gracious self-acceptance because you have nothing to hide. Nothing to fear. Nothing to protect. No false self to prop up. Or you can live dishonestly. Secretively. Opaquely. Guarding your heart against any pain and suffering. You can love conditionally. Forgive selectively. Refuse to reconcile. The result is a life of guilt. A life of fleeting joy. A life of self-regret because you have lots to hide. Lots to fear and be anxious about. Self-protection becomes your highest aim because the image you project to the world has to be carefully curated for self-promotion.
Sadly, the majority of the people who live with us and among us and around us choose the latter of the two scenarios. Recently, I read an editorial from a major news outlet extolling the virtues of cutting people out of one’s life. The premise from the author was that her life was better without her mother. DNA doesn’t matter. Biological connections simply aren’t worth it. We should discard anyone in our lives who we deem to be “toxic.” Now are there scenarios where estrangement needs to happen? Of course. Some people are so abusive - verbally, emotionally, physically, spiritually - that we need to cut them off. But such tragedies are never to be celebrated. Another editorial I read attempted to normalize the mutilation of the body. Still a third attempted to normalize sexual relationships between adults and minors. The brokenness of our world is legion. It is breathtaking in scope and heartbreaking in depth. And it leads in a direct line to the rise of suicide, depression, anxiety-disorders, opioid and other drug abuse, alcoholism, sexual addiction, etc. The fruit of our lives is rotten. We know it. So we medicate it.
The Joseph narrative reveals a similar dynamic. As a young man, Joseph was an insufferable fool. The favored son of an aging father from his beloved wife, he was given all kinds of privilege and power in the family. Resentment grew to the point where his own brothers wanted to kill him. After throwing him in a pit, they made the fateful decision to sell him into slavery instead so they could turn a profit. This tragic act will haunt them for the rest of their lives. Fast forward a few decades. Joseph has risen to power in Egypt. He has saved the nation from a devastating famine and now the whole world comes to humble itself before him. His own brothers make the journey and he immediately recognizes them. But he too is suspicious. Why are they here? What do they want? Most importantly, do they regret the decision they made all those years ago? So he puts them to the test. They believe they’re being punished for the sins of their past. The pain is real. It extends back to Jacob, their father, who has to undergo the pain of letting his youngest son - the only son he has left from the wife he loved - go to Egypt with no guarantee he’ll return. Reuben attempts to assuage his father’s concern. “Kill my two sons if I don’t return with Benjamin.” What kind of monster would Jacob have to be to kill his own grandchildren? The dysfunction here is real.
We all live dysfunctional lives to some extent. We all find ourselves living on the spectrum between the two poles I outlined above. I imagine most of us have days when we are honest and open and transparent and real. I imagine we also have days when we are guarded, dishonest, and secretive. I imagine most of us have days when we are able to love unconditionally. Forgive generously. Reconcile freely. And I imagine we have days when love is difficult. Forgiveness a pipe dream. Reconciliation beyond us. The goal of the Christian life is to surrender more and more each day to the Holy Spirit and let Him move us closer to the abundant life God promises us and away from the self-centered life we naturally choose. It’s not easy. Our bodies, minds, and emotions often rebel. The act of submission is a courageous choice we all have to make in a world that will never celebrate following Christ.
Readings for tomorrow: Genesis 44-45, Matthew 14:13-36, Psalms 18:37-50, Proverbs 4:11-13