Readings for the day: Obadiah 1, Psalms 82-83
There’s nothing worse than a family feud. Especially one that lasts generations. Two brothers grow up together. Polar opposites in personality, they never get along. One is favored by his father, the other by his mother. One loves hunting, camping, fishing, and the outdoors. The other prefers staying at home, reading, studying, enjoying the finer things of life. One is big and strong. A mountain of a man. The other is small and thin. He’s the intellectual. One day, the big, strong older brother comes in from hunting and is famished. The younger brother has been cooking all day. The older brother asks for some food but the younger brother refuses him unless he gives up his birthright. The stage is set for the younger brother to usurp the older brother’s place in the family. Many years pass. Their father is failing. It’s time to divide up the inheritance. The younger brother steals the favored place in the family. The older brother is enraged. He seeks revenge. The younger brother leaves home. He’s gone for years. When he finally comes home, he’s prospered. In his absence, so has the older brother. They meet. They forgive. But their families remain separate. Their clans do not mingle. There is no indication they even see each other again.
Fast forward generations. Hundreds of years. Edom and Israel are now mortal enemies. Locked in perpetual conflict. What began with a bowl of porridge has become a tribal war. Seems crazy, doesn’t it? And yet, it’s not an uncommon story. Especially in “honor/shame” cultures where defending one’s family reputation is taken very seriously. Through it all, God has been watching. Watching these two “brothers” fight. Watching their descendants go back and forth. Now judgment has come for Esau has gone too far. “Because of the violence done to your brother Jacob, shame shall cover you, and you shall be cut off forever.” (Obadiah 1:10) It’s painful to read.
Family feuds are the worst. There’s nothing worse than going to war with the people you love. Husbands. Wives. Mothers. Fathers. Children. Grandchildren. Brothers. Sisters. It’s heartbreaking. It doesn’t matter if the conflict is large or small, it is always painful. And working through it requires great courage and humility as we forgive. Reconcile. Restore relationships. It’s some of them hardest work we will ever do.
In the Gospel of Luke, Jesus tells a very famous story. Two brothers and a father. The younger brother comes and shames his father by asking him to give him his inheritance early. For some reason, he doesn’t want to be part of the family anymore. The father graciously agrees. The older brother is horrified. His anger begins to smolder. The younger brother heads off on his own. He wastes everything he has on sinful living. Gossip and rumors filter back to the family of his experiences bringing more shame and more dishonor on the family’s reputation. The older brother is enraged. He secretly begins wishing his younger brother would die. Meanwhile, the younger brother loses everything. Things are so bad, he takes on the most shameful profession there is for a Jew. Feeding pigs. He’s starving. He’s destitute. He has nothing left. Coming to the end of himself, he finally decides to return home. To face the family he once left. To ask for mercy and perhaps be taken on as a hired servant. On his way home, he rehearses what he will say when he finally sees his father. But while is far off...the Bible says...the father sees him! He’s been waiting! Hoping! Praying for the day when his younger son would appear on the horizon! He runs to him. He embraces him. He gives him the family robe and signet ring. He welcomes him home with a feast. Meanwhile, the older brother’s rage now erupts. He refuses to embrace his brother. Refuses to forgive. Refuses to reconcile. Refuses to welcome him back into the family. And what does the father do? Runs to him as well. Embraces him. Assures him of his great love.
The parable ends with a cliffhanger. What will the older brother do? How will he respond? Will he follow his father’s example and embrace his brother once again? Think about your own family. What relationships need reconciliation? Where does forgiveness need to be offered and received? What does restoration look like? Think about your own position in your family. Are you the prodigal son whose left home and damaged relationships? Are you the older brother whose anger and rage threaten the possibility of reconciliation? Are you the father who embraces both his sons with grace and love?