Readings for the day: Psalms 108, 109
One of the things I love to do is climb mountains. In Colorado, we have over 50 mountains that top out at over 14,000 feet. Standing on top of Bierstadt, Longs, Pikes, Antero, Quandry, Grays, Lincoln, Democrat, etc. makes one feel like they are on top of the world. But the journey to get to the top can be brutal. I remember the first time I tried to climb Pikes Peak from the trailhead. 26 miles round trip. We got 12 miles in. One mile from the summit. Clouds started rolling in. We had to turn back. I’ve never been more frustrated. I remember when I was a kid and my dad took us to climb Longs. 16 miles round trip. A hard and treacherous hike. I was 12. My brothers were 10 and 8 respectively. We were supposed to get up at about 1AM to get on the trail. I’ve never prayed so hard in my life! (That dad’s alarm wouldn’t go off...ha!)
The spiritual life is a lot like climbing mountains. There are peaks and valleys. Despair and exhilaration. Struggle and success. Defeat and victory. That’s what I think of when read today’s Psalms. David is exuberant in his praise in Psalm 108. “My heart is steadfast, O God! I will sing and make melody with all my being! Awake, O harp and lyre! I will awake the dawn! I will give thanks to you, O Lord, among the peoples; I will sing praises to you among the nations. For your steadfast love is great above the heavens; your faithfulness reaches to the clouds. Be exalted, O God, above the heavens! Let your glory be over all the earth!” (Psalms 108:1-5) God is good. God is glorious. To serve Him is to experience blessing and salvation. And then, in almost the same breath it seems, David cries out in anguish. Calling curses down on his enemies. “Be not silent, O God of my praise! For wicked and deceitful mouths are opened against me, speaking against me with lying tongues. They encircle me with words of hate, and attack me without cause...May his days be few; may another take his office! May his children be fatherless and his wife a widow! May his children wander about and beg, seeking food far from the ruins they inhabit! May the creditor seize all that he has; may strangers plunder the fruits of his toil!” (Psalms 109:1-3, 8-11) It’s a brutal Psalm. Painful to read. David is raw in his desire for vengeance.
It’s easy to dismiss one and embrace the other. Easy to dismiss David’s anger and rage while embracing his love and grace and mercy. It’s easy to try to separate ourselves from David. Differentiate. But then we read this from Jeremiah, “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?” (Jeremiah 17:9) Or this from Jesus, “For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false witness, slander.” (Matthew 15:19) We remember what Jesus taught in the Sermon on the Mount that to even look at another person with lustful intent makes one guilty of adultery. To harbor anger in one’s heart makes one guilty of murder. Clearly, we cannot trust what’s in our hearts.
Many years ago, I was falsely accused. I was attacked personally and professional. I had an experience where another person tried everything they could to ruin me and my family. They questioned my integrity. They questioned my character. They even questioned my faith. I’ve never been more angry in my life. It was the first time I truly felt I had an enemy. And I am ashamed to admit, deep down in my heart. In dark places I don’t like to acknowledge exist, I prayed for this man’s destruction. I prayed for God to take him out of my life. And I found myself identifying strongly with David in his anger, rage, and pain. I also found God meeting me in those dark places and leading me back to the light. Teaching me that I am capable of great evil just as I am capable of great good. And the only thing that keeps me from becoming an angry, vengeful man is the grace of my Lord Jesus Christ.