Readings for today: Numbers 14-16, Psalms 95
Rebellion seems hardwired into our nature. I remember when my children were young. One of the first words they learned was “no.” They wanted to be in charge. They wanted to be in control. They wanted to do what they wanted, when they wanted. Very few of us ever progress beyond that stage. Not if we’re honest. I can’t count the number of times my heart resists serving others. I can’t count the number of times I want to say “no” when someone asks me for something. Because I am human, I would much rather serve myself. I would much rather take care of myself. I would much rather focus on myself and my needs and my wants and my desires. Thankfully, the Lord continues to teach me. Thankfully, the Holy Spirit continues to sanctify me. Thankfully, God is changing me from the inside out and making me more like Jesus every single day. And slowly, my rebellious heart is becoming a servant’s heart.
I resonate with today’s reading on a lot of levels. I resonate with it personally because I know how rebellious my own heart can be. I resonate with it professionally because I know what it’s like to lead God’s people right to the edge of the Promised Land only to have them turn back in fear. I remember a season in a church I once served where we were right on the cusp of great things. God had been faithful. By His grace, the church had grown. The church was pressing out into our community to serve. The church had become a fuller, richer picture of the Kingdom as it grew more diverse generationally, economically, and ethnically. Sadly, like Israel, we hesitated. We pulled back. We refused to step into the future God was giving us. Several people left. The leadership got discouraged. And the opportunity was lost.
I’ve been a pastor for over twenty years now. I’ve served in ministry for almost thirty years total. I’ve seen this dynamic time and time again. It’s hard to walk by faith. It’s hard to trust God when there are “giants in the land.” It’s hard to press to the edge of our resources time and time again, hoping and praying the Lord comes through. But God’s command is clear. We must place our lives in His hands. We must place our future in His hands. We must step out in faith. We must risk it all for the sake of His Kingdom. We must be willing to sacrifice everything to further the gospel in our world. Thankfully, God’s promise is equally clear. If we take care of the things He cares about, He will take care of the things we care about. If we put Him first, all our priorities will fall into their proper place. If we seek His Kingdom and His righteousness, everything we need will be added to us. We don’t have to worry. We don’t have to be anxious or afraid. We have nothing to fear. We can let go of our resistance, cease our rebellion, and embrace what He wants to do in and through us for the sake of the world.
Readings for tomorrow: Numbers 17-20