Readings for today: Ezekiel 21, James 1
“For the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.” (James 1:20)
I still remember when God hit me right between the eyes with this verse. It was several years ago and I was struggling with one of my children. We were locked in perpetual conflict. Every conversation seemed to end in an argument. Our voices would raise. Our bodies would shake. Threats would be made. Things would often spiral out of control. Our relationship was deeply broken. Now I could give you all sorts of reasons why I felt justified in my anger. I could even support my reasons biblically. I am a pastor after all. But none of that mattered when I read these words from James 1:20. I realized I had no excuse. My anger could never be righteous. My justifications - as good as they were - ultimately fell flat in the face of the fact that I was losing my child. Something needed to change. We went to counseling. The Christian counselor asked me a simple question, “Have you ever seen anything positive come from your anger?” It felt like a paraphrase of James 1:20 and it cut me to the heart. From that moment on, I made a commitment to my child that I would do all I could to redirect my anger. To choose a different path. To react in a more positive, more peaceful, more godly way. I repented. I humbled myself before my child. I asked for their forgiveness. And we made a new beginning.
I wish I could tell you I never did get angry again. That is not true. It took some time and a lot of fasting and praying for my heart to change. My reactions by this point in time in my life were pretty ingrained. But as I continued to bring the broken pieces of my heart before the Lord and the broken pieces of my relationship with my child before the Lord, I began to heal. I began to mend. I began to see the fruit of a different approach. One based on grace and acceptance and encouragement and unconditional love. Fast forward several years. My child and I have a great friendship. One built on mutual respect and love. Despite all my fears and anxieties over their future - much of which drove my anger in the first place - they are doing great. They work hard. They are responsible. They are building a great life for themselves. And I am thankful.
One of the great lies circulating through our world today is that human anger can somehow be righteous. We rage against injustice. Rage against abuse. Rage against suffering. Rage against tyranny. It doesn’t matter which side of the political aisle you are on. It doesn’t matter where you fall on the social spectrum. Everyone seems angry these days and I get it. Anger is a powerful emotion. It makes us feel strong and good and righteous. Sadly, it is not sustainable. The adrenaline rush does eventually wear off. We run out of steam. Our pent up energy eventually dissipates leaving us feeling weak and vulnerable. And then we have to face the fallout. The people we’ve hurt along the way. The bodies we’ve left in our wake. The wounds we’ve created as we’ve lashed out. It’s vicious cycle.
How different things would be if we followed the advice of James? What if we were quick to hear? Slow to speak? Slow to anger? What if we obeyed with meekness and humility the Word of God which is able to save our souls? What if we were doers of the Word and not just hearers? What if we practiced what we preached? What if overcame evil with good? Overcame hate with love? Overcame sin with grace? What if we patterned our life after the life of Jesus?
Things have radically changed in my home as a result of me putting away my anger. My children no longer are fearful of dad’s eruption. My wife no longer has to do damage control after dad loses his cool. Our relationships are closer. The bonds of love we share are tighter. Yes, we still make mistakes. Yes, we still have to have hard conversations. Yes, we still have to confront disobedience and enforce boundaries and there are consequences when the rules are not followed or responsibilities not kept. But by God’s grace we are making great progress as we rely on the power of God’s love rather than the power of human anger to find our way.
Readings for tomorrow: Ezekiel 22-24, James 2