Honor/Shame Culture

Readings for today: Matthew 15, Mark 7, 8:1-10

“And Jesus went away from there and withdrew to the district of Tyre and Sidon. And behold, a Canaanite woman from that region came out and was crying, “Have mercy on me, O Lord, Son of David; my daughter is severely oppressed by a demon.” But he did not answer her a word. And his disciples came and begged him, saying, “Send her away, for she is crying out after us.” He answered, “I was sent only to the lost sheep of the house of Israel.” But she came and knelt before him, saying, “Lord, help me.” And he answered, “It is not right to take the children’s bread and throw it to the dogs.” She said, “Yes, Lord, yet even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their masters’ table.” Then Jesus answered her, “O woman, great is your faith! Be it done for you as you desire.” And her daughter was healed instantly.” ‭‭(Matthew‬ ‭15:21-28‬)

This is perhaps the most confusing story in the gospels. Read through 21st century western eyes, it appears like Jesus is reflecting the sinful, racist attitudes of his day. Jews and Gentiles simply did not interact in the 1st century. Especially a rabbi and a woman. Jesus was fully within his cultural rights to ignore this woman. Reject this woman. Diminish this woman. Some modern commentators point to this story as an example of Jesus’ humanity. They talk about how even Jesus needed correction from time to time. They claim even Jesus needed to progress in his understanding of divine love and the gospel. Nothing could be farther from the truth. True, authentic, honest Biblical exegesis must always begin by approaching the text from within it’s own cultural milieu. We must do our best to remove our own cultural blinders and instead do the hard work of reading the passage against its own cultural backdrop. When one does this, the true meaning of the story comes into view…

The first thing to note is the place. Jesus has intentionally traveled to the region of Tyre and Sidon. This area was a major economic hub and trade center in that part of the world. As such, it was deeply Hellenized. Jews were the marginalized group. They were the ones being exploited for material gain. So why would Jesus go there? Earlier in his ministry Jesus likens His ministry to that of Elijah who once miraculously fed a widow in Sidon when she was starving. The point, of course, is that Jesus’ ministry will transcend race and culture though He will preach first to His own people.

The second thing to note is the time. Like much of the Middle East today, 1st century Palestine was an “honor/shame” culture. As such, there were strict rules governing the behavior of men and women. When those rules were followed, honor accrued. When those rules were ignored, shame accrued. Men gained honor through acts of courage and generosity in the community while women gained honor through their modesty and privacy in the home and family. It would be crazy for an honorable woman to approach a strange man in public across not only gender but ethnic lines just as it would be crazy for an honorable man - a rabbi no less! - to respond to such a woman. However, in this instance, all bets are off due to the desperation this woman feels as she seeks to save her child.

The third thing to note is how the woman addresses Jesus. She addresses Him by his messianic title. She clearly sees Him as more than an itinerant Jewish preacher. She clearly recognizes He’s no ordinary rabbi. There’s something different about this man that makes her abandon all honor in order to fall at his feet with the beggars standard cry, “Have mercy on me.” She would have not have interpreted His silence as an insult. In fact, she would have expected it and sought to overcome it.

Finally, there is the actual exchange itself. When Jesus answers with, “I was sent only to the lost sheep of the house of Israel”, He is inviting an interaction with the woman. In essence, He’s saying, “tell me why I should help you?” The woman responds by drawing closer. Her cries of desperation turn to the simple plea of “Lord, help me.” And now the so-called “game” is on. In honor/shame cultures there are rules for this kind of dialogue. A challenge is offered. A response is given. Honor is accrued based on who gets the “best” of the interaction. Jesus has challenged this woman. She has responded. So Jesus offers another challenge. “It is not right to take the children’s bread and throw it to the dogs.” Dogs in Jewish culture were almost as bad as pigs. They were mangy, half-wild animals who roamed the streets. Jews regularly used this term as an insult to Gentiles but here Jesus softens it a bit. The term He uses is in the diminutive form - i.e. “little dogs” or puppies - which again suggests He’s fully aware of the game that is taking place. The woman doesn’t even miss a beat. “Yes, Lord, yet even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their masters’ table.” One can almost see the twinkle in Jesus’ eyes and his smile of appreciation for how she’s “bested” Him and He freely gives her the honor she has “won.”

Now here’s the really crazy thing about Jesus. It’s what I love most about Him. In “honor/shame” contests, a person typically gains honor at another’s expense. It’s why such contests were so important in 1st century society. It’s how one climbed the socio-economic ladder and became known in their community. Jesus is different. He isn’t interested in how much “honor” accumulates. Instead, He freely gives honor away at His own expense. What about us? We who have been saved by Christ have been given all the “honor” a person could ever receive! We’ve literally been invited into God’s family and adopted as His sons and daughters. What more could we want? Having been given much, should we not seek to give it away? Should we not seek to share the honor we’ve received from God with those around us? Should we not opt out of the power games our culture still plays and instead take the place of the servant?

Readings for tomorrow: Matthew 16, Mark 8:11-38, 9:1, Luke 9:18-27