Readings for today: Job 29-32
Why do I love God? Why do I trust God? Why do I believe in God? Is it because of the blessings He’s given me? Is it because of the benefits I’ve received? Is it because of the ways He has touched my life? Is God worthy of my love regardless of these things? Is He worthy simply because He is God? I remember being challenged by this thought in college. I was in a Bible study on Job and the teacher asked me if I would hold fast to my faith even if there were no rewards. I have to admit I didn’t have a ready answer. I think at that point in time - if I were honest - I would have said no. My faith would fail if there was not some kind of benefit to me personally. But life goes on. I’ve suffered many things. I’ve seen ups and downs. I lived in plenty and in want. I’ve experienced hardship and loss. I’ve gone through the dark night of the soul more than once. And what I’ve discovered at the end of it all is that God is enough. God is sufficient. God is my reward.
Job is struggling mightily with this idea today. He wishes with all his heart he could go back to the days of joy. Days of plenty. Days when he was respected and esteemed. “Oh, that I were as in the months of old, as in the days when God watched over me, when his lamp shone upon my head, and by his light I walked through darkness, as I was in my prime, when the friendship of God was upon my tent, when the Almighty was yet with me, when my children were all around me…When I went out to the gate of the city, when I prepared my seat in the square, the young men saw me and withdrew, and the aged rose and stood; the princes refrained from talking and laid their hand on their mouth; the voice of the nobles was hushed, and their tongue stuck to the roof of their mouth.” (Job 29:2-5, 7-10) He wishes he could go back to the days when he cared for the poor, the widow, and the fatherless. When he lifted up those who were struggling. Comforted those who were hurting. Came alongside those who were grieving. Job didn’t just live his life for himself. He lived his life righteously. For others. For his community. He did all he could to be faithful and he received great rewards as a result.
But now the tables have turned. Everything he held dear has been taken away. He has lost his wealth. He has lost his health. He has lost his family. He has lost the esteem of his community. “But now they laugh at me, men who are younger than I, whose fathers I would have disdained to set with the dogs of my flock.” (Job 30:1) He even feels abandoned by God Himself. “God has cast me into the mire, and I have become like dust and ashes. I cry to you for help and you do not answer me; I stand, and you only look at me. You have turned cruel to me; with the might of your hand you persecute me. You lift me up on the wind; you make me ride on it, and you toss me about in the roar of the storm. For I know that you will bring me to death and to the house appointed for all living.” (Job 30:19-23) It’s a cry of utter despair. A cry of utter dereliction. It sounds much like Jesus’ cry from the cross. “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” Yet even in his despair, Job reaches out for God. Even in the darkest part of the darkest night of his soul, Job clings to faith. “Yet does not one in a heap of ruins stretch out his hand, and in his disaster cry for help?” (Job 30:24)
At the end of the day when we have come to the end of our strength. The end of our hope. The end of our faith. We find God there waiting for us. God must be the treasure of our hearts. He must hold the highest place. He must have our deepest loyalties and our greatest allegiance. He alone must become our reward. The only way we discover true faith is through testing. Suffering. Hardship. Pain. It is there in the darkness as we stumble about with no resources to bring to bear and no moves to make that we discover if we really believe. What have the trails of your life revealed about your faith in God? Where have you turned in the time of your greatest suffering? Do you - like Job - reach out your hand in midst of the ruins of your life to God?
Readings for tomorrow: Job 33-36