I had a conversation with a great friend the other day. She is a young mom with three kids. She's trying to balance not only her home life but her professional career. She excels at what she does for a living. Her husband is a good father who also is in the midst of a successful career. All three kids are engaged in youth sports at various levels. Life - as you can imagine - is very busy for them. The reason we met is because she feels guilty. Guilty they aren't more involved at church. Guilty they miss a lot of Sunday mornings. And she wonders deep down if I am disappointed in her (I'm her pastor) and more importantly, if God is disappointed in her. After assuring her I wasn't, I asked her what she was looking for out of life..."More balance" was her answer. And that struck a chord with me.
You see, I live in a town that is on the move! In so many wonderfully awesome ways! The people I get to do life with are driven and successful and long to make a difference. They love their kids and they want what's best for them. They are gifted and generous and many of them love Jesus. They do a lot for the community and so our town has become a desirable location for many to relocate to. At the same time, the people I love are exhausted. They are maintaining a pace that is unsustainable. Life drives them in many different directions. Mostly all good. But it's like the gas pedal is stuck. The engine is red-lining. And we live constantly on the edge of burnout.
When I talk to folks - and I speak to many in my line of work - they are all chasing this mythical idea of "balance." Me too. I long to pour equal amounts of myself into everything I do and into the people I love yet find myself constantly frustrated that there just isn't enough of me to go around. Then I meet a guy like Leighton Ford. Dude is in his eighties. He's been married for 63 years. He's dedicated his life to proclaiming the gospel of Jesus Christ. Clearly he has something figured out so I asked him recently about balance. You see, like my friend, I too struggle to make it all work. I struggle to put it all together. I struggle to find time to make sure all the people in my life get enough of me. Deep down I wonder at times if God is disappointed in me. So her desire is my desire as well. More balance.
Leighton's response? "Balance is bogus." Okay, he didn't quite put it that way. :-) But that's basically what he said. Over the course of his eighty years of life, he shared with us what he learned is that balance is impossible. Further, it is based on the false notion that we can have it all...all the time. This hit me like a ton of bricks. I realized this is exactly what I've been chasing, thinking somehow I can achieve everything I want out of life. Leighton went on to talk about how there are only so many hours in a day and how we need to learn to live within limits and make sacrifices. It was a hard answer and not the one I was looking for.
He went on...challenging all of us in the room that day to pursue a "Centered Life." Whatever we are doing in the moment, we are to center on Jesus in the midst of it. At work. At home. In meetings. When I am with people. When I am with those I love the most. Center on Jesus and center on them. Be as present as possible emotionally, physically, and spiritually. The image he used to describe life is that of a teeter totter. Teeter totters are not supposed to be balanced. They go up and down depending on the season. The goal is not to stop the teeter-totter from teetering and tottering. That would spoil the fun. The zest that life brings. The goal is to focus on Jesus in the midst of it all.
I don't know if this resonates at all but I've spent enough time with enough people to suspect it does. I think all of us deep down "want it all." Not because we are selfish and greedy (although some may be...) but because we truly want to be able to pour ourselves into whatever it is we are doing. Our spouses. Our kids. Our work. Our friends. Our neighbors. Our church family. Our relationship with Christ. So here's my encouragement for today. Trust Jesus when He says He's Emmanuel. God with us. God with you. God with me. Every step of the day. Through every part of your week. In every facet of your life. No matter what He is with you. You never have to worry. Never have to wonder. Never have to be afraid. Turn and embrace Him and let Him fill you with His wonder and grace and everlasting love!