Last week I wrote about the recent tragedies that have struck our town. We are still reeling. To quote an ancient holy man, "I hear the whispering of many - terror on every side!" So many parents are afraid for their children. So many teachers afraid for their students. So many counselors afraid for their clients. So many medical professionals seeing cases of self-harm. So many pastors and other ministry professionals carrying the burdens of many who are struggling. I can see the weariness in their faces. I can hear the tiredness in their voices. The stress and anxiety and pressures of caring for those who are hurting and in need takes a tremendous toll.
After the tragic events of 9/11, a friend of mine was mobilized through the National Guard. His job as a chaplain was to care for the first responders and those involved in the recovery of bodies from the rubble of the twin towers. Week after week, month after month he faithfully served those brave and dedicated men and women. He listened to their pain. He let them cry on his shoulder. He prayed with them. He spoke words of comfort. He was a man of peace. But it took its toll. When his tour was finished, he found himself emotionally, spiritually, and physically exhausted. He was on empty. He came back to the church he served and found himself unable to continue. They were very gracious and gave him a year sabbatical to recover from his ordeal. I was thankful for the care and love of that community for their pastor and friend.
In the midst of a crisis, the caregivers are often forgotten. Not only by the community they serve but even in their own minds. They will tell themselves they should be stronger. That their struggles are not as bad as those they serve. That they can get through it. That things will get better once the ordeal is over. This gets compounded by the image of strength they project to those around them. The people in their lives who love them assume the caregiver doesn't need anything. That they are doing okay. And this leaves them feeling even more isolated and alone. Eventually, they crash and burn themselves.
This is one of the reasons I love Jesus so much. At the end of his life. As he hung on the cross. Filled with suffering and pain. His heart breaking for the world he loved so much. Jesus looks out on the people who have gathered to mock and abuse him. It must have been a terrible scene. And yet, as he looked, he sees off to the side a reason to hope. Perhaps he even smiled through his tears as he sees his mother and the disciple, John, whom he loved so much standing faithful and true. Maybe they were arm in arm. Maybe John held Mary close as they watched this man whom they cared for so deeply suffer. And Jesus, knowing the end is about to come, says to Mary, “Woman, behold, your son!” Then he said to John, “Behold, your mother!” And from that hour John took Mary to his own home. Jesus caring for the caregivers in his own life.
We are tremendously blessed to have faithful and engaged leaders as well as tremendous resources if we will just reach out for them. We have a mayor and city council who are engaged. They care deeply and will work tirelessly for our community. We have teachers and administrators in our schools who treat our children as their own. They will not rest until every child and every student has what they need to flourish and thrive. We have gifted parents who love their children deeply and want what's best for them. We are blessed with churches served by pastors and leaders who provide safe havens for those who are hurting and in need. Many of our law enforcement and first responders have been specially trained to deal with these kinds of crises. In short, we have the resources we need to make this epidemic go away.
What we lack is connection. The deep human connections we need to recognize the signals we all send when the stress is getting to us. When the burdens we carry are just too heavy. When we are suffering from compassion fatigue and have nothing left to give. So just as we need to be reaching out to the most vulnerable among us, we also need to be reaching out those who dedicate their lives or a portion of their lives to caring for the vulnerable in our town. Once again, this doesn't require much. Just simple acts of kindness. A smile. A sincere thank you. A handwritten note. A small gift card to a favorite coffee shop. Or a listening ear when the caregiver needs to talk. Be intentional with the parents in your neighborhood. The teachers at your local school. The counselors, pastors, and other ministry leaders in our community. Send notes of thanks to our mayor and city council, law enforcement, fire and rescue. It will keep them going when they themselves are feeling weighed down. And it will ultimately bring our community closer together.