My dear friend and mentor Steve Hayner is dying. He's been fighting pancreatic cancer since Easter of last year and his battle is nearing the end. His wife let everyone know that his family was called to his bedside recently to sing and pray and say goodbye. There were tears of joy and tears of pain. Joy for the reward that awaits Steve. Pain for the void he will leave behind.
Steve and Sharol have been incredibly faithful to share authentically and transparently throughout this journey. If you know the Hayners, you know this is one of their real gifts. They simply share life with everyone they meet. I remember when I first met Steve at a Thompson Scholar conference at Columbia Theological Seminary. I had heard about this great man from many people whom we knew in common but this was my first chance to meet him. That "conference" ended up being more a time to share meals together, discuss the present and future challenges of the church in his living room, and in general, just get to know Steve and Sharol and their heart for Jesus. It was also the first time I heard Steve mention the importance of "heart alignment."
That was a new term for me. I wasn't sure what he meant. And frankly, after years of knowing Steve and Sharol and having the privilege of sharing life alongside them and with them, I think it is something that is more caught than taught. It is a way of living authentically and fully before the Lord and before other people. It involves immense courage and trust because you purposefully make yourself vulnerable and open. It requires great patience and a willingness to let your life be interrupted by the people God brings your way. And it results in a deep sense of joy as you get to know people and the journey God has them on. A year after I attended the Thompson Scholar event, I applied and was accepted for my Doctor of Ministry degree. The only reason I applied to Columbia was Steve Hayner. I felt a compulsion from the Holy Spirit to spend as much time as I could around this great man. I was able to be there for his birthday. I was invited to stay in his home. I have no idea why Steve and Sharol took an interest in me other than to say that is just who they are. And when you are around them you feel like you are the most important person in their lives at that moment. It is a real gift.
The Apostle Paul writes, "For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known." I think he's talking about heart alignment. To be fully known by another is an incredibly difficult but beautiful thing. Probably not possible in this life although of all the people I know, Steve and Sharol have gotten the closest. Furthermore, they were able to extend this gift out to others. I can say with complete confidence that I would not be in ministry today if it were not for Steve and Sharol's love and compassion. They were there for me at the darkest moment of my life when my professional and personal life was crumbling around me. They loved me with unconditional love. They were gracious enough to listen as I processed my pain. And they encouraged me to hold onto hope. I would not be the pastor I am today or the husband or the father without their godly influence.
Steve now faces the end of his journey. He is about to cross over into another dimension to life. He is traveling to a deeper country. A place of such beauty and grace and peace that it will astound his senses. He knows this. He rests in this confidence. His family and friends know this and it gives us all a sure and certain hope. Steve's heart is about to be aligned perfectly with Jesus. He will know Jesus fully even as he is already fully known.
There are a lot of ways to die in this world. As a pastor, I have seen many of them. I have watched men and women so bitter and angry that their passing was like a storm. I have watched men and women so hopeless and lost that their passing left you with a feeling of darkness. I have watched men and women struggle and hang on to the end, living in such pain and suffering, that death felt like a relief. And then I watch someone like Steve embracing death like an old friend. The grace of his passing leaves me with a sense of peace, even through the tears. You are still my teacher, Steve. To the end. I love you and I'll see you on the other side!